I grew up listening to songs by Madonna, Patti Austin, the Cure, Mariah Carey, Janet Jackson and of course Michael Jackson. My childhood soundtrack includes songs from these iconic artists and I feel really bad over the death of Michael Jackson. I remember learning my ABC’s and 1,2,3’s while listening to Jackson 5’s ABC—from my mom’s Motown hits collection. My mom thought I’d learn my basic letters and numbers better if I have something fun to listen to.
Over the weekend, I decided to play my collection of Jacko songs. My most favorite Jacko song is I’ll Be There. Well, it’s not officially a Jacko song since Michael sang it while he was still part of Jackson 5. The best line there is “… I’ll be there to protect you, with an unselfish love that respects you…”—this line says it all, no explanation needed.
Songs really have this mysterious way of forcing you to remember your significant other. I planned a weekend devoted to only me—no work, no him—but still, I was taken over. So I came up with top 10 songs I’d sing to him if I had the chance and the voice (I lose my voice whenever I’m nervous). I also added the lines that really struck me for bonus effect. Haha!
10. One Day in Your Life by Michael Jackson
This is the initial song that ruined my “devoted only to me” weekend. It reminded me of my fear of the future as discussed on my recent article.
Trigger line: “… one day in your life when you find that you’re always waiting… you’ll remember me somehow…”
9. You Don’t See Me by PCD
This song was released by the PCD when Carmen Electra was still their lead vocal. I can’t remember how many times I’ve played this over and over during the most depressing moments of my life—I call those moments, my analytical moments because I analyze the situation that bothers me until I get tired.
Trigger line: “… is this how the book ends, nothing but good friends…”
8. Saving Forever by Shanice (OST Beverly Hills 90210)
Yup, I’m saving my forever for him. I’m very vocal about me not having plans to get married but if he’s the man I’ll marry, yes, I’ll walk down the aisle and spend my forever with him—Apple and _ _ _ _ _ _ _ happily ever after.
Trigger line: “…you are the only one I’ll ever give forever to…”
7. In my life by Patti Austin
I used to call this “the song for all spinsters a.k.a the matandang dalaga song” because this is the favorite song of my titas who never got married (they never fail to sing it during family videoke parties) but it also never fails to touch me especially now that after all I’ve worked hard for, someone is still missing in my life. He is still missing in my life. Warning: Queen Hotness’ road to spinsterhood. The Virgin Queen of the new millennium?
Trigger line: “…still there’s no me and you here in my life…”
6. Going Crazy by Natalie
Natalie used to be a cheerleader for the Houston Rockets before she had her own album. Since she released this single, I’ve loved her songs ever since. Most of them are upbeat girly songs but this song is a bit slow. This is on repeat mode every time I miss him.
Trigger line: “… i’d rather have you here with me, right next to me…”
5. I’ll Be There by the Jackson 5
As mentioned earlier, this is my most favorite Jacko song and I’ll not only sing it to him but to all the important people in the world.
Trigger line: “...i’ll be there to protect you with an unselfish love that respects you…”
4. Pictures of You by the Cure
My older cousins love the Cure so I learned to love them too. When you grow up listening to certain artists all your formative years, you’ll really love them. Aside from that, I love their song writing style—very poetic—just the way I always like it.
Trigger line: “…there was nothing in the world that i ever wanted more than to feel you deep in my heart…”
3. Breakdown by Mariah Carey
This song hits the spot. It’s for those who pretend they’re fine without someone but at the end of the day, they just breakdown. It’s so me! Every waking day of my life I drag myself through the day pretending I’m the happiest person in the world but I’m not. I really am not because he’s not with me.
Trigger line: “… i’m going through extremes to prove i’m fine without you… i wear my disguise til i go home at night and turn down all the lights then i break down and cry…”
2. Love Song by the Cure
Try listening to 311’s version of this song. It’s one of the best remakes for me—they did justice to the Cure’s version. 311’s version is part of the soundtrack of 50 First Dates (is this the right Adam Sandler movie?) but the Cure’s version is more special to me since it is part of my childhood.
Trigger line: “…however far away, i will always love you….”
1. Thank God I Found You by Mariah Carey, Joe and 98 degrees
Do I need to explain why this song topped my list? Can I hire a historian who would document all the relationships I’ve had and relate it to this song? This song is all about thanking the Father because after all I’ve been through, I finally found my One.
Trigger line: “… you brought the sunlight completing my whole life i’m overwhelmed with gratitude my baby i’m so thankful i found you…”
That’s it. I just realized after months of being stagnant, I finally had the passion to write again. This may be the result of not having the chance to say to the intended person what I really feel so now I find fulfillment in writing about it. Talk about contentment…
Monday, June 29, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
Alleged Soul Mate or Destined Soul Mate?
Ok….. After so many months, I decided to update my blog. A lot of things—really complicated things—have been going on. If I only have the magic to escape this web of issues, I’ve escaped a long time ago…
I’ll just list down some of the issues that have been really, as in really bothering me over the past 1 year and 4 months.
Issue number 1:
I met my soul mate but I was too dumb, scared and proud to admit it.
One year and four months ago, I met him—the guy who turned my whole life around. I remember blogging about me being on the right track, accepting things as they are, work, work, work and work but after I met this guy, I realized I’m not on the right track. I realized I wanna be with this guy until forever and a day. But it took me a few months and a couple of flings to realize that I LOVE HIM.
To make things worse, he’s friends with one of my ex-flings. How did it happen? Well, some really strange but strong power urged me to go out to dinner with a friend one work night. As work-devoted as I am or was before I met my alleged soul mate (new word I’ve invented to describe a person who you think is your soul mate but both of you have drifted apart—I hope this is not my case), I really don’t go out on a work night but something in my heart of hearts urged me to go. My thought at that time—might as well experience even for once going out on a work night—such a bad thought.
So I met him and my ex-fling and all the other guys. The moment I saw him, I felt really strange that I could not explain why or how. I just found myself staring at him throughout dinner and him staring at me too (probably wondering why I was staring at him—embarrassing on my part!). But I ended up with his friend at the end of the night because I got too shy from staring at him too much that I decided to divert my attention to someone—bad decision.
Hence, my impromptu boyfriend (a man who immediately became your boyfriend because he announced to your common friends that you’re now a couple—girls should be assertive enough to resist this type of men) who is his friend entered my life. So my soul mate and I drifted apart over the months I’m with his friend. Tough he would text from time to time and I always found myself thinking of him more than my significant other at that time, I convinced myself he’s just some random guy in my life.
A few months after my impromptu boyfriend and I broke up (I guess I posted a really pathetic article about him before), my soul mate (I don’t want to refer him as an alleged soul mate) was present again in my life. Then issues (or should I say sub-issues since this is issue number 1) came and are still unresolved up to date.
Sub issue a: He invited me to a movie premiere and I became a wallflower—totally neglected by him who invited me.
Sub issue b: I remembered him inviting me to this and that thing but would not follow up his invites which made me feel bad because I wanna be with him.
Sub issue c: I was not properly invited to this event (even if his friends asked me to come up with the event’s theme) but he invited some random girl. Then he asked me why I didn’t come to the event only because he was reprimanded about me not coming to the event.
I don’t know what the average number of girls have done this, but I waited for him at a bus station in Pampanga for more than 9 hours and he never came. To start off, I don’t know why I’ve been too dumb to follow his friend’s advice that I surprise my soul mate on Valentine’s day by visiting him at his work 3 hours away from Manila at 8:30 in the evening. So now when people I travel with complain about waiting for a couple of hours or so, I tell them my story just to make them feel better.
Then I started seeing other guys and I feel like I’m going in circles because I always find out he knows them or nothing can compare to him at all. So I chose the lesser evil, I decided not to date anymore to avoid hurting guys and I don’t wanna fool myself anymore. My heart says it’s him. He’s the one. But I spent too much time convincing myself that he’s not the one and now that I learned to accept it, I don’t know where he is now. I could text or call or leave him an offline message but I could not do it because I’m afraid of his reaction which brings us to issue number 2.
Issue number 2
I’m afraid of a future without him in it.
As Neyo says in his song “Together” (the song I keep singing whenever I think of him), my heart is sure it wants to be with him. So I opted to stop dating now because I’m tired of convincing myself that I don’t love him. One time, I woke up really scared of the future. I remember how excited I was of the future before I met him. But now, I’m afraid to face the future if he is not part of my future. Whatever is happening to me! Who is this guy that made me suddenly stop and rearrange my life so he can fit in it? Maybe I spent too much time rearranging my life because by the time I’m ready to have him in my world, all the unresolved issues have piled up. Now I have nothing but a big hole in my world where he’s supposed to fit.
A lot of times I just wanna face him and tell him everything that I feel for him but I’m held back by my mom, our society set up and my own pride. My mom always tells me she’d never seen me so in love like this before. But I have to be self-controlled enough not to show all my feelings. My question, what if it’s the only way to let him know? Then it sizzles down to my fear of him not giving me the response I want. Besides, it’s not “normal” in our ever patriarchal society for a girl to show her feelings. Whatever happened to me being the Royal Hotness? The Queen Hotness who always wins her battles? Is my kingdom falling apart? This invisible war has been waging for quite some time now and I’m getting tired.
After all I’ve been through, I don’t want him to be just an alleged soul mate. I want him to be my destined soul mate. But is it fair enough? Or am I being selfish? I’ve never been this confused in my whole life. I thought I’ve learned all that I need to learn but everything’s new when it’s related to him. Where will I go from here? Maybe I’ll start off with redesigning my blog. This blog started as an online journalism project way back in college and is now my new outlet for stress. I need to change the playlist, the pictures, the color, what else? That is if I have the time. I’ve been really busy with work which I am very thankful for. My work keeps me sane enough in the midst of all these issues…To be continued…..
I’ll just list down some of the issues that have been really, as in really bothering me over the past 1 year and 4 months.
Issue number 1:
I met my soul mate but I was too dumb, scared and proud to admit it.
One year and four months ago, I met him—the guy who turned my whole life around. I remember blogging about me being on the right track, accepting things as they are, work, work, work and work but after I met this guy, I realized I’m not on the right track. I realized I wanna be with this guy until forever and a day. But it took me a few months and a couple of flings to realize that I LOVE HIM.
To make things worse, he’s friends with one of my ex-flings. How did it happen? Well, some really strange but strong power urged me to go out to dinner with a friend one work night. As work-devoted as I am or was before I met my alleged soul mate (new word I’ve invented to describe a person who you think is your soul mate but both of you have drifted apart—I hope this is not my case), I really don’t go out on a work night but something in my heart of hearts urged me to go. My thought at that time—might as well experience even for once going out on a work night—such a bad thought.
So I met him and my ex-fling and all the other guys. The moment I saw him, I felt really strange that I could not explain why or how. I just found myself staring at him throughout dinner and him staring at me too (probably wondering why I was staring at him—embarrassing on my part!). But I ended up with his friend at the end of the night because I got too shy from staring at him too much that I decided to divert my attention to someone—bad decision.
Hence, my impromptu boyfriend (a man who immediately became your boyfriend because he announced to your common friends that you’re now a couple—girls should be assertive enough to resist this type of men) who is his friend entered my life. So my soul mate and I drifted apart over the months I’m with his friend. Tough he would text from time to time and I always found myself thinking of him more than my significant other at that time, I convinced myself he’s just some random guy in my life.
A few months after my impromptu boyfriend and I broke up (I guess I posted a really pathetic article about him before), my soul mate (I don’t want to refer him as an alleged soul mate) was present again in my life. Then issues (or should I say sub-issues since this is issue number 1) came and are still unresolved up to date.
Sub issue a: He invited me to a movie premiere and I became a wallflower—totally neglected by him who invited me.
Sub issue b: I remembered him inviting me to this and that thing but would not follow up his invites which made me feel bad because I wanna be with him.
Sub issue c: I was not properly invited to this event (even if his friends asked me to come up with the event’s theme) but he invited some random girl. Then he asked me why I didn’t come to the event only because he was reprimanded about me not coming to the event.
I don’t know what the average number of girls have done this, but I waited for him at a bus station in Pampanga for more than 9 hours and he never came. To start off, I don’t know why I’ve been too dumb to follow his friend’s advice that I surprise my soul mate on Valentine’s day by visiting him at his work 3 hours away from Manila at 8:30 in the evening. So now when people I travel with complain about waiting for a couple of hours or so, I tell them my story just to make them feel better.
Then I started seeing other guys and I feel like I’m going in circles because I always find out he knows them or nothing can compare to him at all. So I chose the lesser evil, I decided not to date anymore to avoid hurting guys and I don’t wanna fool myself anymore. My heart says it’s him. He’s the one. But I spent too much time convincing myself that he’s not the one and now that I learned to accept it, I don’t know where he is now. I could text or call or leave him an offline message but I could not do it because I’m afraid of his reaction which brings us to issue number 2.
Issue number 2
I’m afraid of a future without him in it.
As Neyo says in his song “Together” (the song I keep singing whenever I think of him), my heart is sure it wants to be with him. So I opted to stop dating now because I’m tired of convincing myself that I don’t love him. One time, I woke up really scared of the future. I remember how excited I was of the future before I met him. But now, I’m afraid to face the future if he is not part of my future. Whatever is happening to me! Who is this guy that made me suddenly stop and rearrange my life so he can fit in it? Maybe I spent too much time rearranging my life because by the time I’m ready to have him in my world, all the unresolved issues have piled up. Now I have nothing but a big hole in my world where he’s supposed to fit.
A lot of times I just wanna face him and tell him everything that I feel for him but I’m held back by my mom, our society set up and my own pride. My mom always tells me she’d never seen me so in love like this before. But I have to be self-controlled enough not to show all my feelings. My question, what if it’s the only way to let him know? Then it sizzles down to my fear of him not giving me the response I want. Besides, it’s not “normal” in our ever patriarchal society for a girl to show her feelings. Whatever happened to me being the Royal Hotness? The Queen Hotness who always wins her battles? Is my kingdom falling apart? This invisible war has been waging for quite some time now and I’m getting tired.
After all I’ve been through, I don’t want him to be just an alleged soul mate. I want him to be my destined soul mate. But is it fair enough? Or am I being selfish? I’ve never been this confused in my whole life. I thought I’ve learned all that I need to learn but everything’s new when it’s related to him. Where will I go from here? Maybe I’ll start off with redesigning my blog. This blog started as an online journalism project way back in college and is now my new outlet for stress. I need to change the playlist, the pictures, the color, what else? That is if I have the time. I’ve been really busy with work which I am very thankful for. My work keeps me sane enough in the midst of all these issues…To be continued…..
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
the Royal Hotness is back!
I'm back! I'm currently dusting off my blog's cobwebs. But I'm having a hard time rearranging my blog coz I already forgot to make HTML codes. My new but nasty playlist is annoying me. It's been more than a year since I last posted my life's drama. Well, since my last post, I started living my life in the fast lane--- work, work, parties, work, travel and all that jazz.
After my last post, I got in a relationship that is not really healthy at all. Maybe because I kinda followed my relatives' expectations. You know, the usual you have a stable job now so the next thing for you to do is get in a relationship and live happily ever after. But that didn't turn out to be happy after all. Though I learned from that very unhealthy relationship. I learned not to follow what's expected of you but to follow yourself. Noone knows you better but yourself. Next, never let a guy change everything about you (especially your sense of style) if he's not the one paying your bills and he doesn't have a really good sense of responsibility. It's ok to share the bills but it's time to go if he reprimands you if you had your hair cut off to a certain length and you had your nails done. I was so happy when that relationship ended.
Off to my fast lane life. I considered the idea of transferring to another company but there was an opening at a different account so I chose to stay and just transfer to another account within Convergys. I won't have to work at night and during holidays. I have more time to myself and my family. I usually spend my days off at the spa, at the salon, at social functions with friends and at the mall with my mom. In other words, I was back to being the social butterfly.
Though I go to parties and hang out with my new friends, I still miss my really close friends. I miss BFF Dano who is now a correspondent for GMA, Mae Ann who is happily married in Italy, Cams and Tom who are at the Ateneo Law school, Dad Marky and Marc who are in charge of GMA Interactive, Kuya Josh who is currently MIA and of course my Laguna Beach girl, Angeli who just started her second job at a sports store.
Then he came. Or was it I? Doesn't matter. As he said, it just happened. I know I'm a party girl but I only go to parties and schedule my after work endeavors every last day of the work week. I don't wanna go to work the next day with a nasty case of hang over. Then, one workday, a friend invited me to hang out with him and to meet his friends. He had done that for like two days and I always said no. But that night after work, my mind told me I have work the next day so I can't go but I had this strange and strong feeling that I should go. So I went there. I took a cab from Ayala to Baywalk only to have dinner and a few drinks with them. But I literally stayed there the whole night. Then I met this guy and the whole emotional madness started. Oh my gosh, I suddenly had a writer's block. I could not put into words how I met him, how he looked like when I met him, how we talked..... Let's just say we became friends easily. It was just like when I usually meet people and I make a mental note to behave in such a way I would not reveal myself because I don't easily trust people. Guys in particular. But for no apparent reason, I just let my guards down on this guy without me knowing it until it's too late. Since then, there has been a civil war in myself. My mind kept reminding me of rules I have set for myself to guard me from all the inevitable heartaches. FYI: I mastered the art of guarding my heart in the past 6 years sinve my last traumatic break up. But I had and still have this strong feeling of being with him. Everything is just so different. From the way I met him, to the first kiss, to the time we spent together and til the last day I heard from him. I couldn't even analyze it. Now, I just realize I'm just typing words out of my head and I think I going nowhere with this post. I'll just end this up now and just continue when I finally have the strength to put everything into words. Everything is just so uncertain but all I know is he will be back and there is nothing for me to do but wait for him.
After my last post, I got in a relationship that is not really healthy at all. Maybe because I kinda followed my relatives' expectations. You know, the usual you have a stable job now so the next thing for you to do is get in a relationship and live happily ever after. But that didn't turn out to be happy after all. Though I learned from that very unhealthy relationship. I learned not to follow what's expected of you but to follow yourself. Noone knows you better but yourself. Next, never let a guy change everything about you (especially your sense of style) if he's not the one paying your bills and he doesn't have a really good sense of responsibility. It's ok to share the bills but it's time to go if he reprimands you if you had your hair cut off to a certain length and you had your nails done. I was so happy when that relationship ended.
Off to my fast lane life. I considered the idea of transferring to another company but there was an opening at a different account so I chose to stay and just transfer to another account within Convergys. I won't have to work at night and during holidays. I have more time to myself and my family. I usually spend my days off at the spa, at the salon, at social functions with friends and at the mall with my mom. In other words, I was back to being the social butterfly.
Though I go to parties and hang out with my new friends, I still miss my really close friends. I miss BFF Dano who is now a correspondent for GMA, Mae Ann who is happily married in Italy, Cams and Tom who are at the Ateneo Law school, Dad Marky and Marc who are in charge of GMA Interactive, Kuya Josh who is currently MIA and of course my Laguna Beach girl, Angeli who just started her second job at a sports store.
Then he came. Or was it I? Doesn't matter. As he said, it just happened. I know I'm a party girl but I only go to parties and schedule my after work endeavors every last day of the work week. I don't wanna go to work the next day with a nasty case of hang over. Then, one workday, a friend invited me to hang out with him and to meet his friends. He had done that for like two days and I always said no. But that night after work, my mind told me I have work the next day so I can't go but I had this strange and strong feeling that I should go. So I went there. I took a cab from Ayala to Baywalk only to have dinner and a few drinks with them. But I literally stayed there the whole night. Then I met this guy and the whole emotional madness started. Oh my gosh, I suddenly had a writer's block. I could not put into words how I met him, how he looked like when I met him, how we talked..... Let's just say we became friends easily. It was just like when I usually meet people and I make a mental note to behave in such a way I would not reveal myself because I don't easily trust people. Guys in particular. But for no apparent reason, I just let my guards down on this guy without me knowing it until it's too late. Since then, there has been a civil war in myself. My mind kept reminding me of rules I have set for myself to guard me from all the inevitable heartaches. FYI: I mastered the art of guarding my heart in the past 6 years sinve my last traumatic break up. But I had and still have this strong feeling of being with him. Everything is just so different. From the way I met him, to the first kiss, to the time we spent together and til the last day I heard from him. I couldn't even analyze it. Now, I just realize I'm just typing words out of my head and I think I going nowhere with this post. I'll just end this up now and just continue when I finally have the strength to put everything into words. Everything is just so uncertain but all I know is he will be back and there is nothing for me to do but wait for him.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
I can't believe February is just 28 days. I have so much to do within the month and I only have a few days left! Marketing stuff for grad comm, thesis, jobs (articles to write, students to teach and calls to take) and to top all these, I'll be in Puerto Galera on Tuesday! Happiness! I can't wait to start the summer in Puerto Galera. I'll be there with my team mates at Convergys for team building. But since my mom wouldn't allow me to go on inter island trips, I told her I'll just be in Batangas. I'm not really telling a lie, right? You have to pass by Batangas to get to Galera. I can't wait to soak under the sun and get a tan.
To make my vacation longer, I had my leave moved to March 1, the day after we get home from Galera so I could still rest but it was not approved. So I'll be forced to take my leave tomorrow. Anyway, I could have more time to prepare for the trip. We'll be leaving Convergys by 1am but my mom said for safety precautions, I should be at Convergys at 9pm coz I could just stay and sleep in the lounge while waiting for my team mates. How pathetic. I'll be at work in my flip flops and everyone will just see me in my most dressed down get up. Hmmmm..... maybe I'll just stay in the lounge and not roam around so people won't see me. I guess I'll just do that.
Updates in my life? Nothing sensational at all. Just work and all that jazz.
To make my vacation longer, I had my leave moved to March 1, the day after we get home from Galera so I could still rest but it was not approved. So I'll be forced to take my leave tomorrow. Anyway, I could have more time to prepare for the trip. We'll be leaving Convergys by 1am but my mom said for safety precautions, I should be at Convergys at 9pm coz I could just stay and sleep in the lounge while waiting for my team mates. How pathetic. I'll be at work in my flip flops and everyone will just see me in my most dressed down get up. Hmmmm..... maybe I'll just stay in the lounge and not roam around so people won't see me. I guess I'll just do that.
Updates in my life? Nothing sensational at all. Just work and all that jazz.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Hmmmm..... Yesterday was my first "no big deal" Valentine's day. I was so busy the whole day that I never felt the thrill of Valentine's. Haha! It's a good sign, it means I'm on the right track to singlehood. Anyway, hemmingway, most of my friends are in relationship now so I spent Valentine's alone unlike last year when we went star gazing at Antipolo. I did spend a few minutes with Angeli, Misha and the other JCers then I went home and spent my Valentine's night with mom. She cooked a really hearty meal for me then we watched those mushy movies and JuMong (our favorite Korean soap at the moment). Haha!
Updates at work? Doing good! I just realized I'm so busy but I'm so happy. I've never been so happy with what I'm doing. I mean not all girls my age have at least three jobs, right? But of course there are other things I sacrificed so I could have all my jobs. To tell you, they are really personal things but they are things I'm not sure if they will work out great. Unlike my career where I could see a clear view of everything. Oh, I'm on the other side of media now for the election season-- I'm on the PR side and I'm so trying my best not to get involved in hard core journalism to maintain my credibility and objectivity.
What else? Oh! My mom and I started a business. I call it the ultimate business of the laziest entrepreneur. Why? Coz we only invest and at the end of the day gather what we hustled. No buying and selling, we just let people use our money, haha! My Chinese relatives (they are my dad's family) used to tell me I'll be good in business and they even "forced" me to major in business and now I'm loving business so much that I'm planning to take a master's degree in business and still do PR and still take orders for ProActiv, Windsor Pilates and credit card applications over the phone. Haha!
Now that I'm so loving my jobs, I don't need a guy to spend time with when I could spend more time on my jobs and get paid after with no pain at all. Right?
Updates at work? Doing good! I just realized I'm so busy but I'm so happy. I've never been so happy with what I'm doing. I mean not all girls my age have at least three jobs, right? But of course there are other things I sacrificed so I could have all my jobs. To tell you, they are really personal things but they are things I'm not sure if they will work out great. Unlike my career where I could see a clear view of everything. Oh, I'm on the other side of media now for the election season-- I'm on the PR side and I'm so trying my best not to get involved in hard core journalism to maintain my credibility and objectivity.
What else? Oh! My mom and I started a business. I call it the ultimate business of the laziest entrepreneur. Why? Coz we only invest and at the end of the day gather what we hustled. No buying and selling, we just let people use our money, haha! My Chinese relatives (they are my dad's family) used to tell me I'll be good in business and they even "forced" me to major in business and now I'm loving business so much that I'm planning to take a master's degree in business and still do PR and still take orders for ProActiv, Windsor Pilates and credit card applications over the phone. Haha!
Now that I'm so loving my jobs, I don't need a guy to spend time with when I could spend more time on my jobs and get paid after with no pain at all. Right?
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Whew! Haven't seen my blog in months! I've been too busy with all those money hustling activities that I forgot I have a blog. To add to my jam-packed schedule, I also have my thesis to finish. No updates yet on my thesis to prevent further negative energies. Haha! Hey, the Royal Hotness has to graduate!
Tons of things happened to me. To begin, I still can't get over this guy at school eventhough I don't get to see him anymore. Maybe he is really special. Then, my friends are currently helping me get over this guy coz they said if he's really in to me, he'll make the necessary moves but he's not even doing anything. But he is still the most special guy in my life no matter how many good looking guys come my way which lead me to a number of new guys in my life. I'd like to clarify I don't want to commit myself to any guy (well maybe except for this guy in school if he asks me to) anymore for as long as I live. I'd rather live alone and work, work, work and work. You see, in career, there's always assurance and you know where yoou're going but love life is so uncertain. I'd choose concrete results and reasons than what-ifs so I'm not for love at all. I'm pretty much happy with my relationships right now with my family and friends so there's no need for me to have a certain guy in my life.
What else? Oh yah, I'm planning to quit teaching by next school year but my students asked me not to so I'll stay with them. Election season is up and running that's why I'm writing this and that write-ups for certain politicians (let's not mention the names for MY credibility, haha!). I got a perfect attendance recognition for the month of January (no lates, finally!) so for two weeks, I went to work in jeans. But I have two lates already for the month of February so I guess I'll probally go to work in my business casual outfits which according to my kid cousins make me more respectable. Wafaz! My latest word from Claire's extraordinary vocab.
It's so nice, I got my first Raving Fan at work today. By the way, to update my fans, I'm now in the early morning shift-- 6am-3pm, which means I still teach in the afternoon and hang out at UP after if I'm not drained yet. My free days are Tuesday and Wednesday. Back to my first raving fan. I had a caller from California for a Frank Sinatra CD by Castalian music. I don't know what has gotten into him he just said I have a sweet voice and when I put him on hold, I heard him tell his wife he doesn't know where I'm located and can't identify my accent coz my voice was too sweet. When I finished processing his order, he kept on saying how patient I was and how sweet I was. Then I had him speak to one of the team leaders on the floor and that's it, my first raving fan. Such a historical moment for a newbie on the floor like me. Haha! If only I could tell that guy at school about it. You see, I want him in my life to have someone to share my victories with.
Anyway, Valentine's is fast approaching and I'm planning to surprise him with a cake and I'm now looking for someone at school who may want to deliver my treat to him. Haha! Will he ever know I'm the one behind it? I don't think so. For all I know, I'm the most worthless person in his life. But it's still worth the try.
Til next update!
Tons of things happened to me. To begin, I still can't get over this guy at school eventhough I don't get to see him anymore. Maybe he is really special. Then, my friends are currently helping me get over this guy coz they said if he's really in to me, he'll make the necessary moves but he's not even doing anything. But he is still the most special guy in my life no matter how many good looking guys come my way which lead me to a number of new guys in my life. I'd like to clarify I don't want to commit myself to any guy (well maybe except for this guy in school if he asks me to) anymore for as long as I live. I'd rather live alone and work, work, work and work. You see, in career, there's always assurance and you know where yoou're going but love life is so uncertain. I'd choose concrete results and reasons than what-ifs so I'm not for love at all. I'm pretty much happy with my relationships right now with my family and friends so there's no need for me to have a certain guy in my life.
What else? Oh yah, I'm planning to quit teaching by next school year but my students asked me not to so I'll stay with them. Election season is up and running that's why I'm writing this and that write-ups for certain politicians (let's not mention the names for MY credibility, haha!). I got a perfect attendance recognition for the month of January (no lates, finally!) so for two weeks, I went to work in jeans. But I have two lates already for the month of February so I guess I'll probally go to work in my business casual outfits which according to my kid cousins make me more respectable. Wafaz! My latest word from Claire's extraordinary vocab.
It's so nice, I got my first Raving Fan at work today. By the way, to update my fans, I'm now in the early morning shift-- 6am-3pm, which means I still teach in the afternoon and hang out at UP after if I'm not drained yet. My free days are Tuesday and Wednesday. Back to my first raving fan. I had a caller from California for a Frank Sinatra CD by Castalian music. I don't know what has gotten into him he just said I have a sweet voice and when I put him on hold, I heard him tell his wife he doesn't know where I'm located and can't identify my accent coz my voice was too sweet. When I finished processing his order, he kept on saying how patient I was and how sweet I was. Then I had him speak to one of the team leaders on the floor and that's it, my first raving fan. Such a historical moment for a newbie on the floor like me. Haha! If only I could tell that guy at school about it. You see, I want him in my life to have someone to share my victories with.
Anyway, Valentine's is fast approaching and I'm planning to surprise him with a cake and I'm now looking for someone at school who may want to deliver my treat to him. Haha! Will he ever know I'm the one behind it? I don't think so. For all I know, I'm the most worthless person in his life. But it's still worth the try.
Til next update!
Saturday, December 23, 2006
Wah! I've been awake for 15 hours now. I woke up at around 6pm yesterday for work and I was out at work by 7am but my office buddies Gayle and Say decided to have breakfast. Of course when girls eat together, they talk for like hours after eating. I feel so bloated right now coz I have a full breakfast meal and a slice of chocolate cake (I just can't avoid chocolates).
I was late for the nth time at work last night coz of all that Christmas traffic so my team leader was so ready to give me a memo but thank God he didn't. Nothing much really happened at work just the usual calls of credit card applications and rush shipping on the products for Christmas.
But for next week, Tito Manny (our team leader), gave us the dreaded "hell week" (lifted from the UP tradition coz most of our bosses at work are from UP) and we have to do tasks to get to know the people at work better especially the team leaders. Good thing I have team leader Lawrence as a friend and schoolmate. Haha! But we have to be prepared for doing "stuff" just to get the signatures of the team leaders. I just hope they won't let me do "unwholesome" things. I really am not comfortable with the people on the floor except for my wavemates, my team leader and some schoolmates and other mentors. Like I don't feel welcome. Even my wavemates feel that. Maybe it's coz of the whole newbie vs. tenured employee issue. Whatever! I go there to work my butt off, that's just it. No strings attached.
Since my days off til the end of the year are Saturday and Sunday, I could still spend Christmas eve with my family but I'll spend Christmas night at work. Doesn't matter, I'll be getting double pay for that night. Same goes on New Year. Tito Manny wants us to file vacation leaves but I don't want to coz I don't have a reason. What would I do on that day? I'd rather work and get the dough.
Ok... Now I'm getting sleepy. My eyes are already drooping... I'd better go under the sheets now.
More updates... hopefully... I usually spend my weekends hibernating nowadays.
I was late for the nth time at work last night coz of all that Christmas traffic so my team leader was so ready to give me a memo but thank God he didn't. Nothing much really happened at work just the usual calls of credit card applications and rush shipping on the products for Christmas.
But for next week, Tito Manny (our team leader), gave us the dreaded "hell week" (lifted from the UP tradition coz most of our bosses at work are from UP) and we have to do tasks to get to know the people at work better especially the team leaders. Good thing I have team leader Lawrence as a friend and schoolmate. Haha! But we have to be prepared for doing "stuff" just to get the signatures of the team leaders. I just hope they won't let me do "unwholesome" things. I really am not comfortable with the people on the floor except for my wavemates, my team leader and some schoolmates and other mentors. Like I don't feel welcome. Even my wavemates feel that. Maybe it's coz of the whole newbie vs. tenured employee issue. Whatever! I go there to work my butt off, that's just it. No strings attached.
Since my days off til the end of the year are Saturday and Sunday, I could still spend Christmas eve with my family but I'll spend Christmas night at work. Doesn't matter, I'll be getting double pay for that night. Same goes on New Year. Tito Manny wants us to file vacation leaves but I don't want to coz I don't have a reason. What would I do on that day? I'd rather work and get the dough.
Ok... Now I'm getting sleepy. My eyes are already drooping... I'd better go under the sheets now.
More updates... hopefully... I usually spend my weekends hibernating nowadays.
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