Wah! I've been awake for 15 hours now. I woke up at around 6pm yesterday for work and I was out at work by 7am but my office buddies Gayle and Say decided to have breakfast. Of course when girls eat together, they talk for like hours after eating. I feel so bloated right now coz I have a full breakfast meal and a slice of chocolate cake (I just can't avoid chocolates).

I was late for the nth time at work last night coz of all that Christmas traffic so my team leader was so ready to give me a memo but thank God he didn't. Nothing much really happened at work just the usual calls of credit card applications and rush shipping on the products for Christmas.

But for next week, Tito Manny (our team leader), gave us the dreaded "hell week" (lifted from the UP tradition coz most of our bosses at work are from UP) and we have to do tasks to get to know the people at work better especially the team leaders. Good thing I have team leader Lawrence as a friend and schoolmate. Haha! But we have to be prepared for doing "stuff" just to get the signatures of the team leaders. I just hope they won't let me do "unwholesome" things. I really am not comfortable with the people on the floor except for my wavemates, my team leader and some schoolmates and other mentors. Like I don't feel welcome. Even my wavemates feel that. Maybe it's coz of the whole newbie vs. tenured employee issue. Whatever! I go there to work my butt off, that's just it. No strings attached.

Since my days off til the end of the year are Saturday and Sunday, I could still spend Christmas eve with my family but I'll spend Christmas night at work. Doesn't matter, I'll be getting double pay for that night. Same goes on New Year. Tito Manny wants us to file vacation leaves but I don't want to coz I don't have a reason. What would I do on that day? I'd rather work and get the dough.

Ok... Now I'm getting sleepy. My eyes are already drooping... I'd better go under the sheets now.

More updates... hopefully... I usually spend my weekends hibernating nowadays.

I'm back! I have so many, as in so many things to blog about. I don't know what to blog about first. Let me see...

My jobs:
As I've blogged before, I'm back to teaching Elisse and Carla. I teach them before I head to Ayala for work coz I'm in the graveyard shift. I'm now a vamp. Haha! I sleep in the morning and I hussle at night. I get big bucks for my jobs but I still do some random hustling for more money. It's not that I'm a material girl or something (I rarely hit the malls since I started my full time job), I just love working. Am I a workaholic? I mean, I'd rather go to work and get paid than just be a bum. But I treat myself at the salon to get my nails done and my hair treated with the best protein treatment ever or go to the spa for a calming massage.

I'm loving the financial account that I handle at Convergys. I guess I found my niche. Haha! As compared with the direct response calls I have to take for ProActiv, Bloomingdale's, Windsor Pilates, etc., I love taking credit card applications more and persuading callers to get their car loans refinanced by HSBC Auto Finance. Haha!

But my team leader told me, I just have to be aware of piracy. When he found out I used to be an ESL teacher, he told me I could be one of the communication coaches or trainers at Convergys but of course, CSG (the name of the account I handle) would lose an agent. It's so early to tell that. I don't even know what's my next career path coz I haven't thought of that. At the moment, I just love what I'm doing. No boys, just work, family and friends (and the salon and the spa).

My friends:
You bet I have new friends at work. But I still go out with my college friends most of the time. Camille had a birthday bash. We brought our "gays" to a sucky five-dollar bar but they never liked the girls. Haha! I had an issue with them coz they weren't texting me during the times I was depressed and just started my job. But everything's fine now. They're texting me whenever there are school events or when they just want us to be together. We watched Marky's dance competitions at La Salle where the UP Streetdance Club got the roving trophy and the Skechers Streetdance Battle at the Araneta where the UP Streetdance Club won (as always). Mae-ann, my high school friend who stayed in Italy just came home and I can't wait to hang out with her. What else? My myspace account has been so "sensational" lately, I've been getting messages from people I don't know. But hey, I'm trying to be friendly nowadays. But they're all boys. I don't know why. Maybe I should start dating again... No!

I honestly don't know what to do with my life. All I know is that I don't want to be involved with any guy anymore unless that guy is Pharell Williams or that random guy at school. Well, he doesn't have classes anymore at school that's why I don't think I should call him "that random guy at school" but he goes there for org matters. Damn! I miss him! I don't know why, but I'm trying so hard to avoid seeing him but circumstances make me see him. Like whenever I have to watch Marky's performances, I also have to see him and I should've never promised my cousin I'll have her songs mixed for her dance audition so I won't have to bravely approach that random guy and ask him to mix the songs for me coz my other cousin who usually mixes our songs doesn't wanna do it anymore coz I always get copies of the songs he mixes for his clients without his permission. But if I don't see him, I miss him. I hate feeling this way. I just wish I could see him as a normal person not as the guy who makes me lose my cool. Not fair, he doesn't go through everything I'm going through right now because of him.

Wah! I'm oficially using the company computer now for my own consumption. Hahaha! No, I'm just using the company computer at the pantry. We could access our email accounts here and all that web jazz. But we can't get through friendster and myspace (bummer). But thank God I could access my blog.

Moving on, I'm pretty much ok with the whole new "corporate environment". Though I miss my college friends (People! I miss you! You've been invisible in my life lately!), I'm ok.

What else? Damn! I can't think of anything else to blog coz everything has been so confidential lately and I don't want to blog the good things happening to me so they won't be "jinxed". But I'm back to teaching my girls again. I'm so happy for that. I miss them so much and the day I started teaching them again, I was really happy. They even are more behave now and they don't give me a hard time anymore. Maybe, they did miss me. Well, they told me they missed me but I wouldn't know if they just said that out of respect. I wouldn't know.

Ok, I guess that's it for now. I'll put more stuff next time. Oh, I'm missing this random guy at school. Hahaha!

Ok..... Drama..... Drama..... Drama..... I'm slowly getting over the drama that haunted me over the past couple of weeks. But it still lurks around coz I still miss my old life! I've gotten over my new schedule and the people I see everyday but I still want to see the people I used to see in school that's why I go to school anytime that I can but everyone's so busy to meet me. I haven't seen him yet and it's almost a month now.

I'm having mixed emotions now. Probably because I'm at a crossroad of my life and I'm alone though I know my mom's there for me and my friends are also there for me, it doesn't feel the same. It's like mom's a step ahead of me and I have to reach her and my friends are a step behind me and I have to go ahead coz they'll eventually follow. I don't know..... Everything is just so complicated and I feel so alone.

First weeks at work were good. I was so surprised to see Lawrence, my schoolmate in UP Baguio at Convergys which made me feel a bit comfortable at work. Then my trainer is from UPLB and his sister was my classmate in UP CMC. I wonder how many UP people work in Convergys. I wanna meet them all. I guess I'll probably meet them at the Christmas party. I actually like this year's theme-- Mardi Gras. I already have a dress in mind. Haha! Too bad I can't bring a friend at the party. I'd certainly like to bring him (this guy from college) to the party but of course, I don't have the right to ask him and if I do, would he care to come with me?

I guess, it's about time for me to face things alone. I'm all by myself now and I can't do anything about it.

Would you believe, I played Drama Queen for a day last November 5-- the day before my very first day at Convergys. I practically cried almost the whole day. I was so sad and maybe afraid that I just broke down and cried. Maybe all the emotions I have since I realized I'm gonna start being on my own-- like a hundred per cent on my own-- just "exploded".

Let me just analyze bit by bit so I could get a better perspective on this whole drama. Drama..... Months ago I wished for drama in my life but now that drama's in my life, I'm freakin'. Where do I start? Ok.....

DRAMA #1
Though I still have my thesis to finish, I'm not a full time student anymore but a newbie in a reputable company. So from a pampered (well, not really coz people don't consider me as their Royal Highness) student, I'm now one of the latest additions to the world of yuppies. I won't be spending most of my time in school except for thesis consultations which makes me sad coz I'm gonna miss school. As in everything in school. From my friends to the classes, to the cafeteria food to my allowances. FYI: my mom loves transitions so when she found out of my hustling schemes in college, she didn't pull out my whole allowance. She cut half every semester til I have no right to spend her money without paying her back. Nice of my mom to do that coz I was FORCED to be responsible with my own money. So there's a change in my social and financial environment.

DRAMA #2
Remember me blogging about keeping my other jobs? I had no choice but to drop one. What's sad was I had to drop my most favorite job-- teaching. To make it worse, it all happened so fast without giving me and the kids a chance to gradually accept I won't see them anymore. I didn't know what my schedule at work will be but I was certain it won't be in conflict with the time I spend with the girls. It was only the weekend before I start my job did I get my final schedule. The company gave me the 3pm to 11pm schedule. I usually teach them at around 3pm. See the conflict? Everything was so sudden coz that Saturday afternoon we were all happy having lunch and talking and no one knew that would be my last day with them. But if it's true that schedules in call centers change every month, I'll definitely teach them again after a month. I also told the girls that. I really miss them and I really, really wish I could go back and teach them again. I learned to love those kids! Don't get me wrong, I also love my other students but Elisse and Carla are the closest to my heart. Even Elisse's little brother, Max, such a smart toddler. I promised myself that even if God will not allow me to teach them anymore, I'll keep track of the important events in their lives and I won't forget to sent them treats for their birthdays and the holidays.

DRAMA #3
So I lied about me being "tough enough to avoid guys" and that no guy could ever "tame" me. But there is this and only guy in school that I really care about. we barely know each other and I don't see him unless I plan to. He's not even one of my closest friends in school and vice versa. But when I realized I'm leaving school, I felt like I'm also leaving him and I won't see him ever again. It's actually pathetic coz I have his mobile phone number and I could always send him text messages or send him messages through Friendster but I still miss him. But why do I miss him when I spend almost all my life without him?

I've laid down everything and now I see a pattern-- all this drama is triggered by change and attachment to people. I'm scared of change and I don't want to cut my attachment to these people but I have to which makes me sad. That sounds so simple. But it really makes me feel miserable.

Everything was so simple at first and wasn't this what I wanted months ago? But why am I so afraid now? Maybe I've been in my comfort bubble for so long and now I'm forced to get out of it which is why I'm freaking out.

Lots of drama... I've been wanting to clean the corner of my room which usually gets messy every semester coz it's where I put my school stuff. I cleaned and cleaned the place while watching the LA Clippers and Phoenix Suns game as I sort out the papers and stuff. I found the cards Carla and Elisse gave me on my birthday which made me feel worse. Then my thesis stuff which reminded me that I really have to work on my thesis. Sorting... sorting... found something that really hit me. You see, I have this pathetic hobby of writing letters to guys but I don't send them. I usually pour my heart out on the papers and burn the letters after. It makes me feel good coz I get to say what's in my heart without letting the guy know what I really feel. So I wrote this letter to the guy I mentioned a while ago but I can't remember why I didn't burn the letter. I read it again then halfway through the letter, I started crying. The letter really made me cry or was it just one of the things that made me cry? It's so pathetic, I cried over a letter. I stopped reading the letter so I could finish cleaning. After cleaning I had lunch while watching NBA then I continued reading the letter and I started crying again. During commercials, I switched to MTV and they were playing mushy videos! I cried over the letter, Kelly Clarkson's "The Trouble with Love is", Debbie Gibson's "Lost in Your Eyes", and my most favorite song ever Shanice's "Saving Forever For You". Everything's just so pathetic! I feel so weak! Everyone knows how much I hate feeling weak. This is not the kind of drama I asked for.

Then I realized, it was a full moon. Ever heard of the saying, "People are different during full moon comes"?

This is it. I'm gonna start my 8-hour job on November 6, 2006. I'm gonna be a call girl. Haha! No, not that kind of girl. I'll be a call center agent of Convergys Corporation. Quite a prestigious company, right? People tell me I was so lucky to get a post in Convergys. Like I'm not really a graduate yet but I already have a job which a lot of people wish for. I owe that to the Big Guy up there-- God. I'm really excited to start working coz I really have a cute account but I can't elaborate on that coz it's company policy. Wow! I'm sounding so corporate. I'll be a real worker bee and work my butt off.

I just came from Convergys Corporation in Makati today to have my new contract signed. It's been months now since I kept the old contract which said I'll start on July 11. But since I still have classes to attend, I wasn't able to start. But now this is finally it. I felt bad for the HR officers who kept on calling me and telling me I should start already. So after a few days of bumming around, I decided to call them and tell I'm ready to take the job. So here I am, waiting for November 6. Since my other jobs do not interfere with my Convergys job, I decided to keep them-- for more raking in the money. Haha!

The working environment in Convergys is quite friendly. Everyone's nice and I know I should not be late for my shift but getting to your appointment for a new contract late is a different thing. I was more than 2 hours late for my appointment and Carla, the HR officer who gave me my new contract was considerate enough. Coz she lives in Cainta and I live in Antipolo-- places in Rizal province which we all know was one of the places the typhoon visited today. I guess I'll really enjoy my new working environment coz my grade school bestfriend, Gio is also in Convergys. But she holds a different account. I was so surprised when I saw her and I believe we'll be able to make up for all the lost years.

After my stint in Convergys, I went to school and submitted my contact prints for the grad pics. I love my grad pics so much, it took me a hard time choosing which photos will I use for the yearbook. Mom chose the pics for me. My friends and I took pics behind the scenes during the pictorials. Here are some of the pics.

Mark M, Dad Marky, Angeli, Gelo and me



Yes, I know I gained weight coz of my frequent visits to Cello's doughnuts and Starbucks but check out my diamonds



My formal shot



Then I taught Carla today. Went to Cello's (oh no, not again) for a couple of doughgnuts and Milo. I saw TJ and Mark there and we just had the best Cello's ever! I was supposed to meet Dano for coffee at Starbucks Katipunan but he was in Gateway so I decided to make up for it next time.

Now just wanna rest and relax coz I know I have a bright future ahead. Even if there are no boys involved. As long as I have a job I enjoy and I could climb the corporate ladder for as high as I want to.

I promise I'll keep it tight. I promise, I promise, I promise. From now on, for every chocolate doughnut, cake, cookie or any food with chocolate in, on and over it, I'll walk a kilometer to burn it. Not only for chocolates but for candies, pies and sweets of any kind.

I really do loves sweet food and all but each time I overload on them, I really do feel guilty. I miss my old size-- size 0 on American sizing and XS on Asian sizing. It really hit me when I bought an Adidas top and found out that I'm not a size 0 anymore but a size 1! Aside from that, my waist is only 22 a few months ago but now it's already 23! Mom makes things even worse, she keeps telling me, "Anak, I don't know what will I do with you if you continue putting on more pounds. You're short so it's really obvious if you gain a little weight. Cut your trips to Starbucks and Cello's... Oh, I'm hiding the cookie jar. No Chips Ahoy for a while". Grrrrr! I know I'm getting big but I wanna eat those really sweet stuff and just be happy. Besides, I'm making up for my overloading endeavors. I jog every morning and I started walking an extra kilometer.

Like today, I had my choco doughnut and milo at Cello's then I walked to work instead of taking the jeep. When I got to work, one of my students gave me a slice of buko pie which made me walk to the train station from work to burn the calories. See, I'm keeping it tight, ain't I?

I think I'd better get into some extra curricular work that'll help me keep tight. But I ain't got no idea.

BFF Dano and I had a sudden portrayal of "A Simple Life" yesterday. Of course, Dano was Paris Hilton and I was Nicole Richie.

We went to SM Bicutan to watch the Skechers Streetdance Battle. Before that, I went to Bench Fix Katipunan to get my nails done then I waited for Dano at Mini Stop Katipunan. I walked the Katipunan strip to Mini Stop in my white flip flops so you could just imagine the dirt they got. As always, I waited for Dano for like 30 minutes at Mini Stop. Then we're off to SM Bicutan not in a private vehicle but in public transportation. We realized that it was a road trip from east side to south side of Metro Manila and our parents didn't know where we were going. Dano told his mom the competition was just in the UP theatre and I told my mom I'll just be in Katipunan to get my nails done and hang out with Dano along the Katipunan strip. Haha! Dano kept on saying I was a bitch coz I dragged him all the way down south just to see the competition. Well... because I want to! Gotta give my love to my school, right? School spirit, yeah!

So we took the train to Cubao. From Cubao, we rode the bus to SM Bicutan. We wanna try the ordinary bus to SM Bicutan so we rode it. When we got in, we saw a guy lookin' at me and then we saw him look at some of the guys in the bus. We got scared so we got off the bus. They might be bad guys. I was wearin' my butterfly diamonds, I was holdin' my iriver and I was wearin' one of my most expensive caps. Dano also has his iriver with him. We were both "hold upper delicacies" yesterday coz it was an impromptu portrayal of "A Simple Life". We looked like we were at the wrong place or like kids of rich people who only want to take a public bus coz we've never tried it before-- that kind of thing.

We finally got an airconditioned bus. In the bus, Dano kept on sayin' (for the nth time) that I'm a bitch. Haha! So we concentrated on our irivers coz we both couldn't stand the traffic and the issue of me being a bitch. Haha! After maybe 45 minutes, we were in SM Bicutan already. Dano kept on telling me to text Kuya Josh to pick us up after the event coz we don't wanna take the bus to Bicutan ever again.

When we got there, we met Dad Marky and wished him luck and all that jazz. There were a lot of people and not just people, but "kurimaw" boys. You know, the kind of boys who shout for joy whenever they see goodlookin' rich girls and who think they're really hot and all. The kinds who gate crash an event.

But since it's for the school, me and BFF Dano were patient enough to deal with them as we watch the UP Streetdance Club perform. I didn't see the other schools perform coz we were fashionably late and I went with Dano outside coz he said he needed to smoke. But we did see the Streetdance Club perform and they were so great! When I say great, I really mean great. I honestly enjoyed the event coz of them. It was my first ever Skechers Streetdance Battle coz I didn't get to see it last year and it was fun. Me and Dano's impromptu portrayal of "A Simple Life" and all that close to being held-up and road trip down south adventures were worth it coz the team me and Dano cheered for won. That's just so nice! I think I'm gonna start a tradition of watching the competition every year and I'm gonna try to get Dano to make it our impromptu portrayal of "A Simple Life" from now on. Haha!

I'm back, I'm back, I'm back! Ok, I know I've been out of system lately. It's because of my academics. I had a thesis war but now me and my thesis are having a cease fire. I'm gonna continue my thesis next semester while I work. That wouldn't be too stressful, right?

Aside from my thesis war, I was under depression mode for the past month. It was frustrating coz I don't know the reason why I was so sad. But I got over it and I'm way better now.

Updates on my life? I bought an iriver. Yes, I finally got myself an mp3. For three years my uncles and aunts have been giving me money for an iPod but I always spend the money on clothes, make-up, spa, salon and other girl must haves. I already ran out of reasons when they look for the iPod I told them I'm goin' to buy. I really wanted an iPod before but because of my bff Dano Tingcungco, he made me realize that iriver is way better than iPod. To begin with, iriver has a recorder and an FM radio but iPod has none. I'll be badly needing the recorder for my thesis. Another thing, iPod occupies more space in my purse than iriver. Lastly, iriver is cuter than iPod. I got the iriver T10. Though it's only 258MB, it's worth it coz it's cute and it's in one of my favorite colors-- green. Check this link for a pic of my iriver http://www.iriver.com/html/product/prpa_product.asp?pidx=66.

Then I had my finals in all subjects even PE. Would you believe, I danced for my finals and I was so freakin' nervous I really wanted to die then. Like I'd rather die than dance. Bff Dano styled me. Think of me in Roberto Cavalli street fashion-- with the hoop earrings and bandana and all that bling. The only thing I enjoyed with my PE finals was I got to wear all my diamonds without lookin' too pimp. Economics 100.1 is finally over. Everything is finally over but my thesis. I can't believe I'm finishing college and moving to higher things in life.

What else? Oh! I was so touched with the comment of this guy/girl (forgive me, I can't identify his/her gender). The name's Guile, maybe he's a guy coz Guile is one of the people in Streetfighter, right? I was so touched coz he said I should not feel bad and all. He even suggested that I watch a Pixar movie. I will! With my god daughter this week coz I promised I'll spend more time with her now. I'm gonna watch Findin' Nemo again. I really will coz I love that movie. Thanks Guile!

Now I have to finish this coz I'm gonna get my nails done at Bench Fix katipunan, meet Dano and head off to SM Bicutan for the Skechers Streetdance competition and give my love to my closest friend ever, Dad Marky.

Still down..... I think I need a prescription of anti-depressants. Last night I fell asleep cryin'. Now I'm still sad coz one of my closest friends is going through a major heartbreak phase. Obnoxious boys! What a great way to end the week. Sad.....

But my mood went fine for a few minutes coz Nike, wrote an open letter to all the members of the org. She wrote I should not worry about anything. Such a friend. I believe she really felt the loneliness I am goin' through right now. I'm gonna post her exact words next time.

I'm goin' to my grandma's place in Nueva Ecija tomorrow with mom. I'm gonna spend time with my family and go out of town to freshen up. This week did not go really well for me and for my BFF as well. Obnoxious boys! Just when I thought everything was goin' on great. Obnoxious boys! For the weekend, I'll be out of touch with the world coz there's no network signal in my grandma's hometown (it's near Aurora province, the mountains) and no internet. Just me and my family. I'm gonna need that. I just want to hide away from the world and I wish I could bring BFF with me knowin' the pain my BFF feels now after their break up. Obnoxious boys!

Obnoxious boys! Obnoxious boys! Obnoxious boys!

This day didn't turn out the way I want it to. To begin with, I was sad last night. I went to bed feelin' bad. Then I woke up this morning with that same feelin'. My day ran with this certain sad feelin'. I tried so hard to make myself happy but no amount of chocolate bars and other stuff that used to light up my mood did the work. Sad, sad, sad..... I haven't felt like this in a long time. This sad feelin' was so unexpected, it caught me off guard. What's happenin' to me? I am just plain sad now.

One of my girls gave me an origami. It's a bird, a good luck bird she said. I really appreciate it coz she gave it to me just when I need some comfort. I believe she was God's instrument to lift me up today coz He felt my sadness.

It's just frustrating coz I don't know the reason why I am sad. If I know the reason, it would be easier for me to get rid of this sad feelin'. Huhuhu..... I wanna cry coz I feel like cryin' but tears just won't fall down.

I just want a hug, a really good hug right now. Loneliness..... Sadness..... Loneliness..... Sadness..... I wanna get over this feelin'!

Haha! I was supposed to do my thesis today but I ended up bonding with my girl friends in school. I didn't even go to work today for more bonding sessions. I didn't even go to class this morning coz we had our org pictorials for the yearbook and I was a bit sad coz my stylist (BestFriendForever Dano Tingcungco) didn't come. He just sent me a text message for the right make-up colors. But I really wished he was there. A girl really needs her stylist at all times.

Then I had lunch with the girls in our org, spent the afternoon with best buddy Angeli and as always, we talked about girl stuff. Then Nike came, Dad Marky came and the rest is history-- a day of talks, talks and more talks. I am so gonna miss those moments.

Angeli and I were talking about the aftermath of a soul search coz I'm planning my own soul search. I'll go somewhere down south all alone and just travel and visit the places I wanna visit. Or maybe, I'll go with someone I don't really know but I wanna have a good relationship with. Like some random person in my life, like an acquaintance who lives down south so he/she could tour me around and at the same time be really close with after the trip. After the soul searching, I think I'll probably work my way to being an ambassador of good will in some country. Angeli said she'll be a DJ and party for money. Now that's cute!

Hmmmmm..... I got home early to watch the episodes of Laguna Beach season 3, The Hills and Beverly Hills 90210 in youtube for more bummin' around. Yup, I'm a Bev Hills fan. My childhood days til my pre-teen days are filled with episodes of Bev Hills. I even wait for Shanice's "Saving Forever" video in VH1 whenever I can coz the video was shot in Bev Hills High with Donna (Tori Spelling) and David (Sean Austin) and it's a really sweet video. You know, high school love.

Today one of my girls showed me a scapbook she made. Lots of pictures. Photos of her and her whole family. Then I just thought, if I'm gonna have a daughter, I'll also make a scrapbook with lots of photos. I wanna be a mom already each time I'm with the kids. I really do! But how can I be a mom if I don't want any guy ever in my life again? Well, there's the artificial method. Then again, how sure am I that I'll have a normal kid. I just want to have a daughter..... What a big problem.

Hmmmm..... I was reading the entries in our org (UP Journalism Club) logbook today and there's this part where the we were asked to describe the other members. Then everyone described me as "flirt", "makati pa sa makating kikay", "play girl" and "always on the go". In other words, they see me as a playah. Fine, whatever. After all, my BFF Dano and I are two of the hottest playahs in playland. Haha!

Then again, how could they see me a s a playah when I have been dateless for three years? Yes, three years. Unbelievable? Yeah, even my mom thinks so but she considers it as her blessing. I'm tryin' to figure out why people think I'm a playah (a hot playah) when I really am not into dating anymore. Let them think that way coz I'm kinda likin' it. Haha! So let the games begin.

Know what, I'm takin' back the quote I got from Laguna Beach season 2. "Hate the game, not the playah". I go for love the game AND the playah. I'm a playah (as perceived by the people around me) therefore I love myself. Haha!

Boys, boys, boys, boys..... I had my first slumber party with boys last Tuesday night. I learned that boys' slumber parties are all about video games, NBA Live and going down memory lane. Hahaha! So cute!

We spent the night at Misha's place coz it was too late for us to go home (especially me coz I live in the hills of Antipolo city). So there, it was an impromptu slumber party of four boys--Misha (the host), Dad Marky, Marc and Gelo-- and a hot and sexy girl-- me. At first, they were kiddin' about what four boys would do on a girl. Yeah, whatevah!

Me and the host

Since I am the princess, I got to have the host's bed for myself. The boys slept on the floor. But Dad Marky who is not used to sleeping on the floor invaded my comfort space on the bed.

I was the first to sleep but I didn't get to sleep that much coz the boys (for some unknown reasons) decided to play video games. For more nostalgia coz Misha's room is itself very nostalgic with all the Ghostbusters, Lord of the Rings, Star Wars and any old school cartoon anyone can think of action figures, they played Contra and Mario Brothers on family computer. Very old school! They were so noisy, they kept laughing. I buried myself under the covers and the pillows to shut off their voices but still they were so noisy. I even heard Misha shout, "NBA Live tayo!"

In a typical boy's room

I was not exempted from their "games". They swore they heard me snoring! I really can't believe it coz my mom says I sleep as quiet as a baby. Then these boys were laughing coz I was snoring and Dad Marky was sleeping with his eyes open. Haha! At least I could say I'm a complete human now coz I snored during one of my million slumbers, I already talked in my sleep, I sleep walked and I pissed in bed (I was dreaming I was in a cubicle doin' my thing when this happened and I was 14 then). Haha!

But boys' slumber parties are boring. You can't even make them tell you their deepest darkest secrets no matter how many secrets you already told them. They just want to play, play, play and be boys when they're together on a night like that.

Camera whorin' while the boys dig the PC

Girls' and gays' slumber parties are still the best. Lots of secrets, bonding, kikay stuff and all that jazz. Haha!

Bummer. It was my first time ever to watch the UAAP cheerdance competition yesterday but we lost. It was the first and last cheerdance competition that I saw before I graduate and it was supposed to be special but it wasn't. To begin with, my first year in UP was, in a way, great coz the UP pep squad was the reigning champions and I wanted to end my last semester in UP with the pep squad on top again. But it didn't happen. Huhuhuhu.....

Then there was this obnoxious guard at the Araneta coliseum. He said, "hindi pwede pumasok ang kinder". I got so angry with him coz I'm not doin' anything wrong so I answered, "whatevah! hindi tayo close!". Good thing I have my gay friends with me and Dad Marky told me that I should've answered, "Manong, five years from now you're still a guard and I own the building your guarding". I just hate men who think they can do that to girls.

Oh well, I might as well drop it (the cheerdance issue) like it's hot. Haha! Very Snoop Dogg. I should focus on more important things in my last few weeks as a student-- my thesis, my case study for journalism ethics, my exams in macroeconomics and other academic stuff. I need to get things over with!

For more comfort thoughts, I was day dreaming at our tambayan this afternoon coz I didn't have streetdance class. Then I thought of how ecstatic I'll be if I could get the lead female role if there's gonna be a 4th Fast and Furious movie. Haha! I'll get to drive those cars and it would be fine if they won't pay me money as long as they give me the car. Oh my gosh! What if it would really happen?

Freakin' thesis! Today I started full blast (when I say full blast, I really mean full blast) on my thesis. I can't wait to finish it by the month ends. Now I made a new schedule and I just realized my new schedule revolves around my thesis. I'm starting to have graduation jitters.

I vowed to stop doing certain things for a while like bummin' around during my free time when I should spend that time in the library or in front of the computer typing the content of my thesis. I just pray I'll still have my inner beauty before my grad pictorials. But I have nothing to worry, I have vitamin E cream and tea tree oil both from the Body Shop. I've got to finish everything before the month ends.

Wahhhhh!!!!!! I fell asleep with my contact lens on! I thought I took them off before I had my nap. But my eyes are fine. They're not red and they don't hurt but I had a hard time taking them off, I almost tore them off. I'll really take them off before I sleep. I don't wanna be blind! I think I'll start wearing colored contact lens so I won't be confused if I still have them on or not before I sleep. Then again, I'm practically fine with the color of my eyes which was the reason why I'm wearin' transparent contact lens.

I'm having a boring life. Really, I am. I'm getting bored of the things I'm doing coz I've been seeing the same people at school, at work and at home. Is it bad? I guess so... There's no drama in my life lately. Maybe I've been in my comfort bubble for too long and no one dares to penetrate my comfort bubble except for my friends and my family (not to mention my mommy who bursts my comfort bubble for fun and who is in Davao now which is good coz I get to have her house for 2 weeks) which makes me think people are scared of me. I remembered when my friends and I played a game at Cello's. We said our first impressions (good and bad) to each other and Mark M. told me he was scared of me coz he thought it was hard to get in my bubble. In other words, I'm not friendly?! Huhuhu..... I've got to do something about it. Ok, from now on I'll be the first to greet my acquaintances. I won't wait for them to greet me first. I'll smile often. Wait..... I'll be Ms. Congeniality. Haha! Not that extreme. I'll just try to be friendlier and start conversations once in a while.

Since mommy's in Davao for a couple of weeks and my brother's at my aunt's place for also a couple of weeks, I have mommy's place to myself. You think it's fun? It isn't. It's sad coz mommy's not around to talk to. Since I don't have the time to cook and I'm not into cooking dinner for one, I've been eating outside lately and I intend to do that til mommy returns with lots of suhang davao, marang, lychees, atis, pineapples and more suhang davao-- my most favorite fruit.

While having lunch at mommy's fave place in Antipolo (the place she asks me and my bro to eat when there's no real food at home), I overheard a couple havin' serious (and I mean really serious) talk with each other. The girl was on the verge of tears as she explained her feelings coz the guy's allegedly not spending enough time with her. She said she missed the time the guy spends with her when they were still on the getting to know each other stage. Then Mr. Obnoxious Guy explained his side and said the usual guy excuse-- he's too busy with work. Define work? Work has two meanings-- work as in career or working on another girl? Then the guy kept on reassuring her that nothing bad will hapen to their relationship. Yeah, right. Whatevah!

Whenever I see couples like that, I thank God. I thank Him coz uncertain feelings like that don't strike me. It makes me realize how lucky I am being on my own, doing my own thing and not worrying about obnoxious boys. There are people who are blessed by God with special someones but there are also those who are not. I say, don't fret if God doesn't like giving you someone special-- it means you are too special in His eyes that you don't need someone to complete you. He made you extra special. Like a special commodity-- limited edition/ all-in-one. His love and everything in you are more than enough to keep you goin' which makes you one of the greatest creations of God. Now that you've realized your full potential as His masterpiece, it's now your responsibility to share it to others not just with one person but with all the people around you.

My thesis is starting to get the best of me. Which, I think, is good coz I really wanna get over this whole "thesis mode" as soon as possible and start movin' on to better things in life like gettin' a vacation before the big full-time work starts.

Anyway, my life has been boring lately... Actually, according to my girl friends, I've had a "boring life" since I left Baguio and moved back to my mom's place. Need I elaborate more on what "boring life" means to them? No way! I prefer to keep it wholesome. After all, keeping my life "boring" means I'm on the right track in life. Yah, it's true. No drunk moments, no dirty parties, no obnoxious boys, and no lies to tell mommy.

I just realized how did I ever do all those party stuff in Baguio? I mean, fresh out from high school, I was not supposed to be that "wild" coz in the first place ("and the 2nd place goes to China", said Dad Marky) I don't know all those wild things. Well not really wild as in I became a slut or anything similar to that but how did an innocent (yes, I WAS innocent before) girl like me went through all the club hopping and booze marathons? How did I fabricate all those lines that I'm in my apartment with my housemates when mommy used to call me on my cellphone while the club music was blastin'? I'm really sure mom knows all my little secrets in Baguio but I guess she never confronted me coz I didn't make any major mistake in my life. She actually told me that a girl's life won't be complete until she goes through her "kalokohan phase" where all she does is have fun and don't care about anything at all. Then after a time she realizes life is not all that and she starts to fix her life til she finds happiness. I guess I'm done with my "kalokohan phase". I'm settling down now. Settling down, meaning my days of partying are over. Well, I still go to clubs sometimes but for legitimate reasons like if there's an event I have to attend for my work or a friend's birthday party.

Wow, I can't believe I passed that stage in my life without makin' any major screw ups. Anyway, I can't help but post what happened to me yesterday. I was walkin' to our college while thinking about my ethics report. I crossed the street still deep in my thoughts then a gray Pajero suddenly stopped inches away from me. I didn't notice it coz I was so in my thoughts that I didn't even hear it come and the driver didn't even do anything. He just patiently waited for me to pass like a turtle passing the road. Then when I was already on the sidewalk, the driver rolled down the window of the passenger side and a really, really, really, super good lookin' guy called out to me and said, "Miss! Ang perky-perky mo naman maglakad" with all his smile. Haha! That was really cute. That's what I call one of God's little surprises. I wish I memorized his plate number. I wish for more of God's little treats for me.

Macroeconomics. That very word scares me. Until now I still don't understand why journalism majors have to take macroeconomics(econ 100.1) in order to graduate. Maybe I'm just being too close-minded. I don't wanna see the advantages of learning macroeconomics. Coz I really don't wanna see the advantages of it! As long as I can count my salary, know the differences of CD's, 401k, bonds, stocks, know how to compute percentage and a really perfect marketing person, who needs macroeconomics? Then again, reality bites. I have to take econ 100.1 to graduate and it's a shame to tell everyone I still have another subject aside from my thesis. So I have to stretch my talents in analyzing problems, formulas and equations in order to pass. Econ's really not in my system. I don't know why almost everyone in the family loves economics (they apply it in their lives) but I don't. Anyway, I'm just unloading my economics long exam frustrations.

I'm still a pen jinx. I blotted my favorite yellow top with the latest pen I bought. Now I have to wash it off before mom sees it. She really freaks out when she sees stains. Oh well, at least I finished two exams this week--ethics and macroeconomics. I now have the freedom to work on my ethics report and my thesis. I guess I'll start drifting off to the world of "I only care about myself and my thesis" in the coming months.

Today I turned 22. I may be an oldie but I'm still a goodie. Haha! Anyway, as of this post, I can say this is my most memorable birthday coz it did not rain. But, I still have atleast 4 hours before I can truly say this is my most favorite birthday if it won't rain.

Anyway, there's nothing special with turning 22. But still I thanked God for another year of blessings and miseries as well that will make me stronger. I really started the day right. I woke up an hour earlier to jog, I practiced the routine for streetdance class and I had a full breakfast. But as always, I was late for my class which made the professor say, "I'd really appreciate it if you come to class on time". What can I do? I live in Antipolo, a suburb God only knows how many kilometers away from Quezon city. I was not really late for class coz coming to class on time was one of my priorities now. But I ran to my thesis adviser this morning and we talked about my thesis. I was so scared coz I haven't had my first draft yet. I asked him if I could continue my thesis til next sem and he kept on asking for reasons why I can't finish it this semester. I really can't finish my thesis this semester coz I want to put all my time on it. That would be impossible for this semester coz I still have other classes. My thesis adviser was really considerate and said there's no problem with that. I never thought my thesis adviser is that considerate. He's been my professor before and he is as scary as he can be. God bless him. I mean this.

I learned SPSS today in Comm Research class today. I swear, I love the program and it will really be helpful for my thesis coz it can make my job a lot easier. Well, I've been learning quite a lot of new things this week. Yesterday, I learned how to play pusoy dos. Today I learned how to play tong its. Wow, I'm becoming a hustler. Actually, I'm learning card games for no reason at all. Dad Marky enrolled me in ISH (International School of Hustling) where I learn all sorts of hustling. Hahaha!

We had our first seniors' assembly today. Everything is still complicated but I believe we'll get there. We have to rush the marketing letters and distribute them before October. Then, there are the grad pics and all.

I didn't go to work today nor did I teach today coz it's my birthday! I have every right to do whatever I wanna do. But of course, I must not eat chocolates and cake today coz birthdays are not excuses for trimming down.

Pen jinx I am! I just busted a pen worth 40pesos. I bought a Zebre DX-5 sign pen. I used it for only half a day and now it doesn't work anymore. I tried everything to make it work. I even heated the tip but I only melted it. What's happenin' to me?! Now I have to buy a new pen again. Or maybe I should just stick to pencils? But I have exams comin' and my professors insist we use pens in our exams. I also can't use pencils at work coz it looks so grade school. Ok, last try, I'll buy a Parker pen and if it still doesn't work, I'll stick to a Panda pen.

I should study for my journalism ethics exam on Friday today, a holiday. But the weather's cold and it's raining outside which made me stay under the covers, curl on the couch infront of the TV, sit infront of the computer and surf the internet for more diamonds and cars. Rainy days really affect my productivity. How come rainy days decrease my level of productivity when they should keep me active coz I'm used to them? It was raining on the day I was born and all 21 years of my life, I celebrate a rainy birthday. The rain is supposed to be like my twin! But no! The rain makes me a lazy chic. Maybe it's my evil twin.

Rainy days also make me think of him! I don't have anything to do so I can't keep him outta my head. I wonder, does he think of me during lazy rainy days? Oh my, what am I thinkin'?! Of course he doesn't think of me. We're not even really good friends. We just know each other-- plain and simple. So why would he think of me?! For all I know, he's also under the covers or curled on a couch infront of the TV but with his girl. Or probably at work. Or enjoying himself at the other end of the world. I'd like to believe he's in the other part of the world doin' something he loves to do than be with a girl. Heck, I don't really know him! I don't even know if he has a girl. I'm totally clueless. I don't even want to ask his friends about him coz they might think I have a thing for him which is so true. I must drop this and stick to my belief that I'm one of God's creations who is created whole-- who doesn't have a half to find in this big world. In short, I don't have a soulmate. Besides, my purpose in life is not to be someone else's girl but be my family's dime. It runs in the family. I noticed that in all three generations of our family, there's always one left unmarried and that one oversees the welfare of the family. That one is always on call 24/7 for the needs of the family. In our generation, I am that one. So I'd better stop paying attention to this guy who doesn't even pay an ounce of attention to me!

I wanna shop this month with my best buddies. I wanna shop for bronzers, lip glosses and tops. I just wanna shop for no apparent reasons. I wanna get new undies, new camisoles, new mini skirts, new everything! Oh! I should not forget to get a new bikini for emergency pool parties. I wanna spend a day in the spa. Anything to keep him outta my head!

I'm lovin't PCD's new single "I don't need a man". It's so me right now. That's what I love about PCD, each single reflects my life. It's like I'm the one of the members of PCD. Hey, I'm just kiddin'. I'm hot but not as steaming hot as them. Hmmm..... what are the PCD songs that reflected my life? "Beep" was one and what else? "You don't see me"-- during my stint with this guy and "Stick wit u" which is still one of my favorites though it doesn't really reflect my life.

Is there such a person called pen jinx? If there is, I may be considered as one. I've been buying pens for the last two weeks, I swear the people at National Bookstore Katipunan know me already. I keep losing my pens and if I don't lose them, they die on me. Meaning they don't work after I use them for a couple of days. Bummer! If I estimate it right, I just spent at least 200 bucks on pens. That's equivalent to 4 meals at Cello's Doughnuts or a pedicure at a local salon. I don't intend to waste my money on pens. I'd rather waste it on doughnuts or popcorn or chocolates.

Here I go again with my sweet tooth. I noticed how often I substitute doughnuts, cakes and chocolates for my regular meals. When mom calls or texts me she won't be home for dinner and I have to cook my own dinner, I just bring home doughnuts or chocolate bars or both to pig-out infront of the TV or computer. If I don't have time for lunch, I just grab a brownie or a cake at the canteen or a chocolate bar at the nearest convenience store. There are also my random hang-outs at Starbucks. Oh my, I gotta fix my eating habits. I need to go back to my regular 3 times a day eating habit. Regular meals like rice, vegetables and fruits. I'm also planning to undergo water therapy coz I've been takin' in coffee, Coke light and other artificial beverages for the past month.

Starting tomorrow, I'll fix my eating habit. I'll eat a full breakfast instead of coffee and cake. The cake must go but not the coffee-- I need to wake up. Then I'll eat a full lunch and I'll eat on time. I'll skip Coke light for lunch and just have water. As much as possible, no afternoon snacks. But if I can't resist my hunger, I'll have pasta or tuna sandwich-- no doughnuts or chocolates for the mean time. But I'll have Coke light with my snacks coz I can't stand a day without a glass of Coke light. Besides, it's light, right? I'll try to really take a break from work to have my dinner on time. If I can't, I'll really try to have dinner before I go to bed (no matter how tired I am to wash my own dishes) instead of munching Malteasers or M&Ms for dinner. Lots of fruits from now on (I'm starting to be like my mom) and I'll stick to my 8 glasses of water a day endeavor.

Oh! I also need to watch my flabs. I have to start jogging regularly again which means I have to wake up an hour earlier than usual. Maybe I also have to practice the routine I'm learning in streetdance class everyday, as in religiously everyday to shed off my flabs. I gotta stay tight for the coming graduation pictorials, for more impromptu swimming parties and for cocktail parties which require short, skimpy but not slutty dresses.

According to Angeli, my kikay girl buddy, MTV PIlipinas has just started airing Laguna Beach season 3. Yes! Finally! It started last August 16. I was so happy when she told me Tessa is this season's narrator. I thought it was Kyndra. Tessa is the prettiest among the season 3 girls. Even prettier than LC and Kristin. I feel bad for Breanna, LC's younger sister. She was not supposed to be part of season 3 but since LC's her sister, she got the part. Anyway, I think she'll be the Casey of season 3. Casey's the blond girl in season 2 who Alex M. and her friends hate but pretend they don't.

What else? What are my other updates? Oh! Erratum: the Tokyo Drift car that I love which I thought is a Mazda? It's actually a Nissan. 2002 Nissan Ladybird to be exact. I like the black one, the one Neela drove. Nissan has actually made the cars available to the market. Anyone can actually buy the cars-- the exact models. Wow! I really want that car!

This is my baby!

Victoria's Secret has launched their new line of baby dolls. I wanna buy one online but I'm still paying my debts coz I used mom's credit card last summer. Darn! These are the moments I wish I am as rich as my mom. Here are my favorite picks.

Really sexy, right?

Very pink and very innocent.

I love pink, so I love this.

This will look good on me with my favorite jeans and heels.

Cassie released her new single "A Long Way to Go". I added it on my playlist. The video will be out probably in the next weeks. The filming just started a couple of weeks ago in L.A. I love Cassie, she's like Natalie. Natalie's working on her new album and she's blond now.

Jessica Simpson's "A Public Affair" is this year's summer song according to an article I read in the internet. It's doin' good in the U.S. and so does here in the Philippines. It's actually my and Dano's BFF song. Haha!

Mommy and I were talking about this book on Liz Taylor's diamonds over coffee this morning. Mommy said Liz Taylor is really famous coz of her diamonds. So famous that diamond manufacturing companies usually give her complimentary items. Man, I wish I could get diamonds for free also! According to mommy, Imelda Marcos used to copy Liz Taylor in the 70s. Whatever! Liz Taylor's diamonds are so rare not even Imelda Marcos could afford them.

I told mommy how much I want to have my very own diamond collection. Diamonds I really bought with the money I earned. She told me I could really have my own diamond collection. She said in case I don't know yet, Liz Taylor had humble beginnings and every dimaond she has now are from hardwork. So if Liz Taylor earned diamonds by working, I could also earn my diamonds that way. Now that's quite an inspiring story from my mom.

A girl can never have enough diamonds to choose from. If only I have access to mom's diamonds! I could only wear them during special events with her. Mom loves flaunting our special mother-daughter relationship which developed to its full potential when dad died. The best way she could think of flaunting our relationship is through her diamonds. During special events, like formal events, she'll let me wear a set but the diamonds I wear should match with hers. She wears the mother diamonds while I wear the daughter diamonds. Our favorites are the pendants made of Russian diamonds with polished rubies and the heart-shaped pendant (which mom calls her very own heart of the ocean) with earrings all studded with Russian diamonds. We prefer Russian diamonds coz they're shinier than the others. Mom wears the bigger pendant with an extra diamond making it look fancier while I wear the smaller pendant which is way simpler than hers. If we wear the heart-shaped pendant and earrings, it's either mom wears the pendant and I wear the earrings or vice-versa.

Wearing one of her diamonds during ordinary days is a mortal sin. Maybe coz I developed a reputation of losing some of them that's why mom doesn't trust me with her diamonds anymore. In my whole life, I already lost 2 diamond earrings (when I was 4 and when I was 15), a diamond necklace and a diamond bracelet. Fine! So I WAS careless then. But I've grown more mature now. But I know making mom trust me with the diamonds her and dad took care of for years is beyond my reach. I don't even know where mom keeps them. I wanna take pictures of them and post it here but mom said people might copy the designs of her diamonds. That's another thing-- mom solely believes the designs of her blings are rare and that there's a possibility she's the only one in earth who owns those blings. Haha!

Don't think my mom's a diamond freak. She's the most God-fearing person I know. Her values based on the Bible are intact and she literally, emotionally, spiritually implements them in her household. She just loves having blings. Besides, the only stuff she had now from my dad are the diamonds and of course, her hot and sexy daughter--ME!

It was supposed to be a Friday night out with friends, but everyone was not in the mood (except for BFF Dano and I) to go out. Josh was in the corporate room, "bonding" with the CEO and everyone in JC decided to go home right after the tambayan closed. As for me, I met my girls and studied with the for like 30 minutes then we watched the Disney channel. Haha! The Wirl (half woman-half girl) in me comes out whenever I'm with my girls. Then we played games in Yahooligans in the internet.

I waited for my friends' texts where should we meet for our night out but as I've noted a while ago, no one was in the mood for a night out except for me and Dano who was at the Ateneo for a film screening. Josh was busy coz of his stint with his boss. While waiting for their text messages, I was at National bookstore Katipunan choosing a pen coz the latest pen I bought died on me after two days of purchase. I stayed there for like an hour coz I was lookin' for a nice book to read over the long weekend. It'll be a non-working holiday on Monday coz it's Ninoy Aquino's death anniversary. I couldn't decide on what book I should buy coz I wanna buy them all! I got so indecisive today, I even had a hard time choosing what pen should I buy. So I ended up not buying any book which got me frustrated even more. But I think it's a blessing in disguise coz that way, when my uncles, aunts, cousins and my mom ask me what I want for my birthday, I'll give them the title of the books. Haha! I'm gonna ask mom to buy me the book "My Love Affair with Diamonds" by Elizabeth Taylor. Mom will really buy that coz her bestfriends are diamonds and she loves Liz Taylor. Something to add in our "mini" library at home.

So I went home and now was infront of the computer searching for stuff in the internet. I'm did my usual routine on a stay-at-home friday night. I checked the website of Tiffany and Co. for diamonds. I also checked amazon.com for pink diamonds coz Tiffany and Co.'s collection doesn't have pink diamonds yet. As the saying goes, "diamonds are forever, men are not" so I'll stick to diamonds. I can't wait to finish school, work my butt off so I could earn more dough and be one of the most loaded people alive. If I could only be as rich as my parents, I'd definitely buy diamonds for myself coz I have no right on my parents blings and properties coz they earned them by themselves. Inheritance is not considered. I also wanna own stuff by working my butt off just like what my parents did. Gettin' a baller to get the blings is not included in my battleplan of bein' rich, I'll do it on my own coz that's just it!

Anyway, here are some of the diamonds I wanna have. Bring out the icings, baby!



Among the pink diamonds I saw in the websites, this is my most favorite.


Check out this butterfly belly ring. I considered (for the Nth time) having my belly button pierced when I found this at shopping.com. I think it'll look sexy on my belly button.

Here are more eye candies for the girls.




These are from Tiffany and Co.


As you can see, they don't have pink diamonds yet. I think they're still sticking to their classic image they've been keeping for 105 years that's why they don't want to try colored diamonds. But they're using sapphires.

I love, love, love this one! I want this for my birthday!

But if I could not have this for my birthday, at least I have the photo. I could always have it made at a local jeweller.

Trying to keep someone outta your mind can be really tiring. Today was a really hectic day. The ACLE, the marketing tasks for graduation, work, everything! But everything turned out the way I was expecting. The ACLE was one of the successful ACLE's our org had so far. The marketing portfolios need only a few changes before they get printed. The nicest thing that happened so far was my girls got really high grades the past quarter so I got a treat from their moms. Haha! I guess I'm gonna be a really great mom coz from my girls, I can see I can make children study hard.

I think I'm gonna treat myself also. I'm gonna treat myself to a movie at the university film center on Wednesday. I'm gonna watch the Fast and the Furious:Tokyo Drift again so I could see my dream cars! I really fell in love with the cars in the movie. Especially the black one. I think it's a Mazda. I wanna have a car I could use for drifting. I don't care if people think I'm a lesbian, but I love cars! That's just it!

Another thing was added in my to-do-list. I have to make set cards. Good thing I have model friends who could give me pointers on how to make effective set cards. That's what a "talentless" girl like me should do. As the saying goes, if you can't act, sing or dance, be a model!

But I'm learning something. As I've posted here before, I'm in a streetdance class. Yes, I'm learning how to dance. It all started with the fact that I have to live my 5 months goin' to streetdance class for my last PE class but I'm starting to love the class now. I just realized, it's my only class that I have a perfect attendance for this semester. I'm just so scared of missin' a class coz I'll miss out a routine and it'll be embarassing if I show up in class dancing like Kermit the frog. So I have to go to class and learn the routine so I could practice it at home. I was really uncomfortable in streetdance class before but I'm at ease now. The only thing that's bothering me is we (the whole class) will dance at a program of some sort. I really have a worst case of stage fright. The mere thought of dancing in front of a crowd, scares me. I could do millions of PR plan presentations, marketing talks, write press releases but never perform in front of a crowd. It's just so scary!

I wish I have someone who could just be with me and say it's ok to perform infront of people. You know, just a hug to give me the assurance everything will be fine... Whatta?! What am I doing, dreaming of someone to have and to hold?! Na-ah! I've gotta stick with my self-promise of no guys from now on. I'm too old for that boyfriend-girlfriend whatevers. There are lots of more sensible things to do and to achieve.

I'm really missin' him-- BADLY! Not even a hot grande cafe mocha with a shot of mint and a chocolate walnut chocolate can cheer me up. A sit-in at Nike's scuba diving class with hot guys could not cheer me up either. Heaven's sake! Why am I feelin' this way?!!! I'm not like this. I'm usually in control. I always have the ball. If I don't wanna think of somebody, I really won't think of him. But this guy (without his awareness) has been in my mind for the past month. During the first weeks, I can still ignore him and go on with my life. But he's gettin' in my system now.

Whatever happens, I'll still do my best to get him off my mind. That way, I could be more productive than usual. Like this day, instead of bummin' around at the tambayan, Nike and I went to Balara High School to invite them for the ACLE tomorrow. After class, I did some marketing tasks for Journ Club and went with Nike to her scuba diving class. Then I did some org-related stuff with her and my other orgmates for the ACLE.

I went to Starbucks Katipunan and met Dano who was studying for an exam on communication theories. I swear, Dano could be the next Marshall McLuhan! While he was drifting in the world of critical theories and cultural theories that affect the flow of communication, I was drifting again in my subconscious which this guy has been dominating for the past few weeks. What must I do to get him outta my head?! I wish I am drifting, literally drifting a Lamborgini on the streets of Monte Carlo.

Anyway, enough of him. I have lots of things to do tomorrow. Classes in the morning, ACLE in the afternoon, merienda with the mom of one of my girls (maybe her daughter got really high grades this quarter so she decided to treat me), a trip at the printing house to have the marketing portfolios printed for the graduation committee and a night out with my orgmates. I'm gonna be busy tomorrow I pray he won't pop out of my mind even for only a day and I'd be really thankful.

I wonder why people think of other people who doesn't even think of them? Oh, I also have other things to do. I have to finish my ethics report on Monday, work on my thesis, update my website which I kept on putting in my to-do-list for the past 6 months, start preparing for my yearbook pictorials and write the press releases due next week.

Convergys called today to inform me I'll start on October instead of this month coz I'm still attendin' classes. The current training schedule overlaps with my school schedule. So I have the responsibility to finish all my subjects this semester so I could start work by October. I would like to point out that after my 6-month contract with Convergys as an agent, they'll transfer me to their PR department coz of my PR stints before I landed a post at Convergys. It was my decision to take the inbound position job offer first coz I believe I couldn't be an effective corporate PR practitioner if I could not relate with the employees.

Everyone, I'm askin' for your prayers regarding my career endeavors. Thanks! Love y'all!

Haha! While killin' time at Starbucks and while Dano's still in the world of theories, one of the cute guys Dano and I saw during our last Starbucks hang-out arrived. Hot as usual! He's the one who has a longtime girlfriend. He kinda recognized us. I was not in the mood to flirt today so I didn't give a damn even if he's just at the table next to ours. Not even when I noticed he was checkin' out my legs coz I was wearin' a cotton mini skirt and even when Dano left me alone for this guy to approach me. Na-ah! No boys this day within 24 hours!

The ghosts of Christmas past hunted me tonight! After the first hot guy left, second hot guy arrived.The guy who was checkin' me out while he was with his girl. Tonight, he was with another girl. I really think he's a player. He's still checkin' me out. How come each time I "discipline" myself on guys, that's when they keep comin'? Stars are really blind. Haha!

Anyway, Dano and I were blabbing our angst with the current yearbook EIC (I need not mention his name), I don't wanna elaborate the issue but all members of the graduation committee hate the EIC.

I'm a bit down now coz I'm missin' someone, really bad! I don't know why but I'm having deja vus with this guy. For no apparent reason, I can't keep him outta my mind! This is not a good thing-- I don't want any guy buggin' me. I hate this feeling!

Anyway, I'm keeping my self busy with school, work and org matters. I started studying for our exam in economics next week coz I'm really not that good in deriving equations and solving income whatevers. As long as I get paid right and I spend my money right who needs the economic equations? I've been writing press releases and my girls are having their periodical exams this week so we need to study big time. Their usual statement, "Teach, I've gotta get really high grades so mom could buy me a Bratz doll". Then ACLE is on Thursday and as one of the hottest chics in the finance committee of JC, I have to be really pretty and get sponsors for the event this week. Oh, as the marketing committee head of our graduation committee, I also have to contact lots of companies and people to sell ad spaces for our yearbook. That was what I did for a living before so I'm lucky enough to have a reliable network. We're working on the marketing portfolio now.

I really want to be busy as much as I could coz I'm trying to avoid being attached to this guy or to any guy at all. But still I miss this guy! I'm really going crazy. These past few weeks, I usually spend my free time convincing myself he's not special at all.

At the tambayan today, the JC girls were all laughing coz we were talking about our weird dreams. Haha! The wet dreams and such. Then the conversation drifted to psychological whatevers coz I told them I started writing when I was 3 but I was left handed. When I started school, mommy asked my teacher to teach me how to use my right hand. From then on I use my right hand when I write only and I use my left hand in all other things. I read that if you made a child write using his/her right hand when he/she started using his/her left hand, the child will have psychological problems. It would be hard to find out which part of the brain is dominant. No wonder I grew up a talentless kid. Well, not really talentless, I could write 5 press releases in an hour. Isn't that a talent? I also learned to use my butt if both hands are busy. Nike made us imagine some situations and from there, we could analyze our personalities. I found out that I fall inlove easily but I take precautions like I don't easily barge in the guy's life. Then I can't handle long distance relationships and I want to be the first to end up the relationship but I want the break up to be clean, no bitter feelings. Lastly, I found out that I fall inlove easily but I don't get over the separation that easy. That is so true!

Business partner Dano and I decided to go to Starbucks Katipunan on a whim after our swimming endeavor. While our orgmates were already safe and sound in their homes and dorms, my business BFF was having his double espresso and I was having my cafe mocha in mint. We were talking about boys over coffee and Cello's doughnuts. Aside from talking about boys, we were also busy making eye contacts with the cute boys there.

It all started when this cute guy kept on giving me significant glances whenever he passed by. I was in my shortest (according to my mom's standards) skirt and a top which showed my tan. I let my hair down so my sexy curls played over my shoulders when I move. So I was bringing back his glances coz it's not a sin to flirt around if you don't have an official man, right? The guy was with his girlfriend but he checks me out. Maybe he thought I'm hotter than his girl. Dano and I were laughing whenever he passed by coz the guy was really lookin' at me. On his third look, I decided to ask him why he's lookin' at me. But I was sippin' coffee when he passed so I failed to ask him. Also, he has his girl with him so he kinda showed me he's a player-- the kind of boys mom warns me about.

Then there's this another cute guy doin' his homework. He went out for a smoke. Dano noticed him first. We were watching him while we think of things we wanna do with him coz he is really cute. When he finished, he went inside passing by our table so I gave him my geisha look. He looked back but that's just it. He never looked again. Dano and I found out from Maya that he has a girlfriend, a long time girlfriend. That's why that one look had no follw-ups. Now that's a guy any girl would keep.

We went home around 10pm. As we went out, Dano caught a glimpse of the guy with the girlfriend looking at me. Sorry, I'm for his eyes only.

Last Monday night, I had mom's house to myself. She went to a church event and slept over at Tita Ghing's (baby Michae's mom) place. Since I don't have the right to turn her house into a party house and I could not leave the house for a late night hang out at a friend's pad coz I was not in the mood for that, I finished reading the biography of Dean Armando Malay. After reading the only written biography (so far) of Dean Malay, I ended up writing quite a handful ideas I hope I could use for my thesis.

Then I took a hot bath and was already in my most comfortable pj's but I still don't feel like goin' to bed. I couldn't think of anything else to do so I put on some hiphop songs and practiced the routine I learned in streetdance class that day. It's actually a PE class not an after school endeavor coz I don't really dance. I only have to finish one more PE class. So I danced and practiced the routine until I got so tired. I had to change pj's coz I don't wanna sleep on my own sweat. Ewww! I had a really nice sleep so nice I finally got my usual 6-hour sleep again after two months!

But when I woke up, every muscle of my body hurt. My right butt cheek and right thigh hurt the most. Just when I thought I found a way to bring my normal sleeping habit back. My right butt cheek and right thigh still hurt now but only a little. A couple of days ago, I couldn't walk well coz they really hurt especially when the muscles contract that was why I don't want to move that much. I want a massage! But I don't have the time. Huhuhuhu.....

Maybe I kinda "abused" my body coz I went swimming with my orgmates last Sunday for our team building activity. We played talaba-talaba in the pool. It's really tag in the pool. But for those who can't swim or who gets tired of swimming easily, you may hold on to the sides of the pool for dear life thus making you look like a clam (talaba in Tagalog). Haha! So I swam til I dropped last Sunday and I ended up with sore muscles. But I had fun coz I was with my orgmates and we all looked forward to this team buiding activity.



The only thing that was missin' at the activity was the JC Cup coz we didn't have a ball. That's our official pool game. It's soccer, American football, rugby and whatever physical game you could think of in one. But I'm still thankful we didn't play it coz I might end up gettin' an appointment at the spa for a full body massage which I don't have the time for lately.



The best part there was I got a tan. Again, thank God for Hawaiian Tropic Dark Tanning lotion, the Body Shop vitamin E moisturizer with sunblock and the sun. Finally, I got the vacation I missed last summer even for only less than 24 hours. What's important was I got to wear my bikini and I bonded with my orgmates.



I therefore conclude that if you add less than 24 hours of hanging out with your orgmates in the pool and probably a couple of hours dancing hiphop before sleepin' will result to... a visit to the spa which is equivalent to two days worth of labor.

There, I have a temporary playlist. I still can't figure out that radioblog. It's so complicated! I have to download this and that program and the inner Luddite in me is freaking out! Anyway, at least I have the songs-- the ones that are on repeat in my music library.

Last night, I came home and found out my tito will file legal charges against his wife. I was not surprised coz their marriage has been on the rocks (and really on the rocks) for the past five years. Tito is a seaman so he travels a lot. He met his wife in Thailand. She was a Vietnamese who migrated to Thailand during the Vietnam war but she claims she's a Thai. As if! She doesn't have the exotic complexion of Thais coz she's as white as a ghost! We were all surprised when tito brought her home. She even stayed in our apartment in Makati when I was a kid and the moment I saw her, I felt something wrong. My late cat, Garfield, doesn't even like her. She used to put Garfield on her lap and Garfield acts like a witch was carrying him. Years past and she really is the wicked witch of the Orient. She was so evil to the point she hates our family. She doesn't like my mom and gratitude didn't even exist in her. Mom welcomed her in her home when they still don't have a place and she even bought a house for them! Now she hates my mom and creates stories about my mom that are so untrue! But mom's a tough momma so she doesn't devote even a minute in plotting vengeance against the witch. If she wants to, she can. She have all powers to stop tito from getting a contract. She'll just talk to the port captains in the company who are her and dad's long time friends and to the shareholders of the company who are my dad's relatives. But she doesn't want to coz aside from her God-fearing qualities, tito's her brother and she's known in our family as "the Guardian" of each and everyone.

To continue the story, tito and his wife adopted a kid coz the witch can't bear a child anymore. She had two husbands before and has two kids from different guys before she snagged my tito. The kid was her daughter's son. We absolutely love the kid like our real cousin. I love James coz he's such a good boy-- a complete opposite of his grandma witch. He would always ask me how my day was and he always brags about me, his only "smart and pretty 'ate'", in his class. Mom loves James like her youngest child but I don't hold it against her coz I'd love to pass my rank to James . Kuya love him too coz he was the little bro kuya never had, because I am a girl as-- straight as I can be.

James may look like a normal kid but the witch is physically abusing him. She hits James as if she's hitting a horse and James would go to our house and tell mom what happened. Mom would put betadine and band aids on the wounds caused by that witch. Mom wants to do something but she can't coz tito kept her from doing it. But now that tito was awakened and realized his wife was the wicked witch of the Orient, he consulted a lawyer. On top of all that, tito works his butt off on the ocean for months and he doesn't have a single penny coz his bankbook, his credit card and his ATM card are all in the possession of the witch.

If you wanna see a real life goldigger, see the witch. She has all my tito's money including the money mom kept for tito when he was still single. Mom transfered the ownership of the house to tito but tito gave him an SPA. The witch wants the title transfered in her name but she can't do that coz of what tito did. What does she want? She already has my tito's money. She even wants mom's lot in the province coz she talks mom into sellin' the lot to her. Duh! My mom's wise enough. On the last argument tito had with the witch, she said tito will not get anything from her if she goes back to Thailand not even James. That bitch!

So mom and tito decided to take the fight in a legal manner. They were calling mom's lawyer friends last night and they were plotting of something in case the witch gets James and brings him to Thailand. James doesn't even know how to speak Thai coz he grew up here and he hates Thailand. So mom keeps his passport, birth certificate and all the important documents tito sneaked out their house. Then they made James memorize all our cellphone numbers including all important landlines just in case something bad happens. They told him who are the persons he needs to call if the witch takes him somewhere.

I'm getting scared of what might happen. I went home last night and mom told me James was hit again (for the nth time) by the witch and tito got so angry. Then the witch kept saying that we were not James' relatives so he should not love us while hitting him. James ran in our house to mom and she saw the lashes. Mom couldn't help but cry coz of what the witch did to James. So last night they planned what they should do. Tito and mom are planning something I couldn't quite understand as of now coz I was so in to their directions on what I should do like take James somewhere where we would meet tito or mom. Everything's just so complicated for me. If it's already complicated on my level, what about James who is really involved with this whole mess. Honestly, I don't want James to go with that witch in case tito and the witch separate. He's like my little bro-- the little guy who looks up to me and believes I'm the best 'ate' in the whole wide world even if I'm not. I'll really do everything that I can to keep James from being taken to Thailand by that witch. The kid doesn't even like Thailand. If he goes to Thailand, I won't have my little bro anymore.

My mom always says there's no better way to get the dough but to have a monthly salary AND you're own business. Even my dad's twin sister tells me that. I gotta trust them coz my mom's probably the best entrepeneur I know (next to Donald Trump) and my tita's the best CPA I know. When it comes to the cheddar, they are the experts I can easily access.

So now I'm thinking of getting a 9-5pm job after college and save, save, save, save then invest on something. Then came my and Dano's frustrations on the limited collections of elite clothing companies here in our country. There are collections from Diesel, Dolce and Gabbana, Donna Karan New York and other names that do not reach our country coz they think their lines won't sell (ours being a third world country and all, as if!). Think of all those clothes, shoes and bags lots of people could not buy or have to purchase over the internet. A lot of people would have to ask favors from their relatives abroad to buy and send them items not for sale in our country. Example? Me! I have to be super nice and sweet to my relatives abroad for a bottle of Gap Dream, my scent for eight years and Victoria's Secret undies.

My sexy, hot, number 1 playboy BFF in the land-- Dano and I have decided to franchise......... DOLCE & GABBANA, baby! A lot of things are still in the works like where will we place our shop and all that glitz. How are we gonna publicize the brand, etc, etc. Aside from all that, the stuff we decided on is super top secret as of now coz we don't want other people stealing our plans. Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana, I believe, will surely be ecstatic to make us our business associates.

My business partner, Dano Tingcungco.

We're practicing our business skills and charms at the moment for the marketing affairs of our graduation committee. Dano came up with a plan of getting make-up brands (names are still disclosed at the moment) as our sponsors and it's up to me to do the business talk since I have the marketing kits. I really wish and pray we'll have a really beautiful deal with the companies.

World's hottest business partners.

Books, books and more books. A girl like me can never have enough books to read. If I could (and I know I'll eventually could), I'll have a library built in my name. Wouldn't it be really nice? There would be a library called Apple Misada Library. A huge library with tons of collections from novels to references to books written by Paris Hilton, Jessica Simpson (do you know that she wrote a wedding book? how ironic!) and other people you never thought could write a book. But I'm gonna specialize my library. People will recognize my library for its collections of business related books and novels written by young female authors. Like if you wanna read this book on how the Coca Cola company became a business empire or you wanna read the Shopaholic series, go to my library. Rest assured that my library will not be your usual library coz I'm gonna franchise Starbucks and strategically place it beside my library or in it!

Haha! The books I've been reading are probably getting into me. Before school started, I was reading John Maxwell's Roadmap for Success and Sun Tzu's Art of War and Management. I used to read two chapters each everyday but Roadmap for Success became more interesting for me so I set aside War and Management for a while.

If you're looking for a book to help you plan your future, better read Roadmap for Success. Maxwell wrote interesting ideas on success.



The reason why I stopped reading War and Management for a while is that it's too ethnocentric for me. It's nice to learn the similarities of warfare and management but all examples I've read so far are all the achievements of Japan in the world market. You know, how Japan applied their century old art of war to their economic endeavors like competing in the western market and Toyota giving Ford and Rolls Royce a run for their money. But what's interesting about this book is you could also use the strategies mentioned in your lovelife. You could use Sun Tzu's art of war for winning the war against the other girl and getting that guy. Better read the book to know what I'm talking about.


During the days classes were suspended, I finished reading two books. I finished all two coz there was nothing left to do (the library was closed so I couldn't work on my thesis, my girls don't have classes too so I couldn't teach them and the Worker Bee me finished all five press releases a couple of days before the deadliest deadline) after Leanne and I had "the talk" at Starbucks. I finally finished Falling in Love When You Think You Were Through by Jill Robinson and Stuart Shaw. It is their love story. I started reading it last summer as my bedtime book. But I was too tired and drained often that I couldn't read a page. I finally finished it coz of my current sleeping disorder. It's been a month now that I couldn't get my satisfying 6-hour sleep. I only get three hours of sleep now, four if I get lucky. Some unseen force or whatever wakes me up in the middle of the night and won't let me get back to sleep no matter how tired I am so I read until the sun comes up for my morning prayers.



I just realized, I finished the book after I ended things with this guy. I was reading a real life love story while getting over this guy-- the irony of it. The story is not a usual love story of living happily ever after. It is the realities of falling in love after two failed marriages, dealing with his and her children from previous relationships, money and tons of personal differences. I was actually inspired coz Robinson and Shaw fell in love and managed to keep their relationship amidst their differences. But not all people are blessed with lifetime partners like them. Yes, I'm referring to myself.

My roomie in Baguio and I met a couple of weeks ago. Ate Marge is the best roomie in the whole world coz she rarely stayed in our room but she checked on me during "unexpected moments". She was too busy with graduate school, her work and her struggling marriage then. But we managed to keep a friendship that we know would last forever. She gave me a book that she said is "so me". I think she's right coz I love the book the moment I read the title The 10 Women You'll be Before You're 35. I know I'll definitely be 10 women before I turn 35. Actually, I am two women now and I'll be three women in a few months.


Allison James elaborated the 10 women a girl will be before she turns 35. She'll be the New Graduate, the Dollarless/Pesoless/whatever your currency is Diva, the Worker Bee, the Party Girl, the Body Conscious Babe, the Chameleon, the Crisis Chick, Ms. Independence, the Wirl (half woman/half girl) and the True You. After reading the book, I found out I am a Dollarless/Pesoless Diva (the Undervalued Chick to be particular) coz I feel I am underpaid. It's like no matter how many kids I teach, I don't get the dough I deserve. Maybe it'll change by the time I start at Convergys but I'll really, truly, emotionally miss my kids. I am also the Worker Bee coz I believe I'll get the raise I deserve by working my butt off. In a few months (if I finish my thesis this sem), I'll be the New Graduate. The best part of the book was the profile for every kind of woman. Like the New Graduate nicknamed Kid, favorite music is the senior mix CD, fashion includes an old pair of jeans and lots of tees with her college logo and the Dolarless Diva nicknamed the Credit Card Queen who loves singing "Material Girl" by Madonna or "She Works Hard for the Money". Haha! My mom reads it now and she's having a great life with it as well.